The Break in the Line
by Dante Vangrave
Summary: A weird crackfic I wrote a while back. Deader than dead.
1. Chapitre Un

I actually was working on my other story when my computer crashed on me…how sad. Then this story came out of nowhere and punched me in the face, so I felt the need to write this down somehow. I truly have no idea where this came from. I wasn't even thinking of Naruto when suddenly I had the urge to type this up.

Without further delay, here's Chapitre Un.

[edited: 10/19/09, 4/5/10]

_Addendum 4/5/10: No matter how many times I read this, I still find tiny grammatical errors. You might not notice them, but I do…_

_._

**

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**

_The Kyubi no Yoko looked at her container with something akin to worry. In the twenty-five years she had been imprisoned in the blonde idiot, she had grown fond of him. She snorted; her, the strongest of all demons, fond a weak little bag of flesh? But still, there was something endearing about him. He just had this...ability or something that made it hard to hate him, once you truly got to know him. She knew not what it was, but at the moment, she didn't exactly care, either._

_All she knew was that he was about to die, and she was about to be captured by the remaining Akatsuki members. Oh, how she hated them with a fiery fucking passion! They had imprisoned all of the other tailed beasts - all of her brothers and sisters! If she were free, she would have killed them all after torturing them into insanity._

_But it was still slightly satisfactory to watch them be killed by people they had underestimated and perceived as weak, like that pink-haired harpy in human form. Gods she was annoying! It was a wonder that her vessel found her attractive._

_She pushed those thoughts out of her head as she felt the second stage of the extraction process begin to take effect. Her entire being was being slowly drained out of her container's unconscious body._

_She paused._

_Body..._

_Her eyes widened. That was it!_

_The Kyubi reached out from behind her cage and using a wave of whatever chakra she had left to awaken the blonde whose body she resided in._

_After a few anxious moments, he arose, blinking adorably as he stared into the massive face of the Kyubi. "Eh... Kyubi? What the hell's going on?"_

_Immediately, she got straight to the point. "Brat, you're dying."_

_Her comment received the expected response. "Eh!? What the hell do you mean I'm dying!?" He jumped up and pointed a finger at her in disbelief, exactly like he did when he was barely a teenager._

_"The Akatsuki have captured you, and I am being drained out of your body as we speak." He was about to say something when she cut him off with a glare and a loud growl, achieving the desired effect of him gulping and shutting up. "Now, I have a plan..." _

_She padded back in forth in her cage, then stopped and looked him straight in his eyes._

_"I will give you what chakra I have left, and in doing so I will essentially be making you the new Kyubi. Although...this means that you will become the next guardian of this planet."_

_And she meant what she said. Though she was commonly depicted as evil, along with the rest of the tailed beasts, they actually were the demon guardians of the planet, but humans had long since forgotten that. The only reason she had attacked Konoha was because that son of a bitch Uchiha Madara had tricked her with that stupid eye bloodline of his, the Mangekyo Sharingan. And the rest was history after that._

_As for Naruto, however, after she spoke, his eyes grew wider and wider, until his face resembled an owl's._

_"Wh-What!? No way!" He crossed his arms in an X and scowled to emphasize how much he disagreed. "That's crazy talk! That means you'll disappear!"_

_The kitsune growled at him again. "Do you think I want this either, you idiot!?" she roared, nearly blasting the human off his feet. "Of course I know that. But I have no other choice! If you don't do this, not only will I die, but you will die as well!" She was sounding desperate when she yelled the last part._

_Naruto could only look dumbly at the her. "But...why?"_

_She turned away from him, and hoped against hope that her fur would conceal her blush this time. How embarrassing. "I...I've become fond of you, brat. If anyone deserves to live it's you."_

_"...but that means you'll die in my stead! I don't want that to happen to you!" he cried, grabbing a hold of two bars and pressing his head in between them._

_Turning to face him again, she willed herself into a human form, one of a beautiful woman with long red hair dressed in an equally red kimono. A distinguishing feature of her pale, flawless face was that she had the same whisker marks that he had. She smiled slightly when she saw the brat gape at her apparent beauty. She pressed a hand against his face and delicately stroked his cheek._

_"Even if I die, Naruto," she started, using his first name indicating how important this was, "I will be reincarnated. So don't worry about me." A few tears slid out of her eyes and merged with the water that was constant within her prison. "I want you to live. To keep on living... To protect your precious people..."_

_"But-!"_

_She pressed a finger against his lips, and whatever he was going to say failed to come out of his mouth._

_"You need to live, Naruto. For my sake. Please..." The tears felt out more rapidly now, joined by the ones now emerging from Naruto's own cerulean orbs._

_The fox could see him visibly stifle a sob as he choked out, "Kyubi-chan..."_

_Passionately, she gave him a deep kiss, then pulled away. She gently pushed him away from the prison and murmured, "It's time for you to wake up..."_

_Naruto stifled another cry, and nodded. Before he left, he gazed upon her sadly, promising, "I'll never forget you, Kyubi-chan."_

_She smiled at him through her tears as he disappeared._

_"I hope I will remember you, Naruto-kun..."_

_Those words echoed through the prison, even as the greatest of the tailed beasts, the Kyubi, vanished._

**

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**

Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto bolted awake, coming to a sitting position on the branch he had been napping on. He touched his lips lightly and sighed. "Kyubi..."

He was distracted when a cry of "Namikaze! Today is the day you die!" sounded off in the distance.

Naruto sighed and rolled his eyes at the imminent, yet highly insignificant approach of yet another hoard of weakling shinobi coming to obliterate Konoha's Immortal Hokage.

Why was he called that?

Simple. He was well over three thousand years old, nearly one thousand of which he spent in a time-dilation sealed chamber of his own design (after taking a fifty years just to assemble the extremely large and complex seal array for it.).

When he'd finally been captured by the remnants of the Akatsuki – namely Uchiha Madara, Hoshigaki Kisame and Zetsu – the Biju extraction process had been interrupted by the timely arrival of his friends and he'd absorbed the Kyubi's full power, which in turn made him the new Kyubi in human form and effectively rendered him immortal and pretty much unkillable.

The latter part had been proven when Sasuke had cut off his head. Then Naruto had cut his off in exchange, bonds be damned. After all the shit that he'd gone through to return Sasuke to Konoha for Sakura's sake, what does the bastard do? He fucking goes and cuts off his head, with no regrets while doing it. Well, after that, Sasuke could've kissed his ass...if his lips hadn't been ripped off his face. Naruto grimaced at the memory, but pushed it out of mind.

He sighed again as the nameless shinobi came at him with the intent to kill, waving their assorted weaponry in an attempt to scare him. Naruto snorted. He'd faced death ever since he was born. Did these idiots really think he was called the Immortal Hokage for nothing? Sheesh. It sounded arrogant, sure, but it was the truth plain and simple.

Naruto shook his head and jumped to the ground, snapping his fingers.

Immediately, a still-masked Kakashi and a much younger-looking Tsunade appeared out of nowhere, both of them dressed in the black cloaks with red inner lining that the Akatsuki were renowned for. However, instead of clouds, there was a large orange spiral on the back of it, ending in the famous symbol of Konoha in the middle and they also had slightly darker orange inner lining. While Naruto hated the organization with a fucking passion, he had to admit that they had good taste in uniforms, for he too had the same cloak on over himself. The only difference was that his was held closed by an orange sash on his waist, opened all the way to the top showing his uncovered and taut muscles. His left arm rested in it, as if it was in a sling, and was wrapped all the way to the shoulder in bandages of some sort.

"Take care of them for me, would ya?" he intoned, glancing at the incoming wave of ninja.

Without a word, they grinned simultaneously and nodded, vanishing before his eyes and reappearing in front of the enemies.

A voice came out from behind him, saying, "Talking to yourself again?"

Without even turning around, he replied blandly, "You know I didn't want that to happen to them." He nodded his head towards the kunoichi and shinobi that were completely obliterating their opponents, yet not dishing out any mortal wounds.

The same voice snorted. A light shuffling sound alerted him that the owner of the voice had shifted their stance. "So where're the other four, then? Out and about scouting somewhere?"

Naruto grunted an affirmative, not taking his eyes off the fight. "Yeah, something like that."

He didn't even stiffen when he felt a slender pair of arms reach out from behind and embrace him. "Are you sure you aren't straining yourself, Naruto-sama?"

After a long moment of silence between, he finally turned his head to come face to face with a vision of beauty.

She was almost as tall as his six foot four stature, the top of her head just barely reaching his nose. Her lovely face was unmarred by any distinctive marks and was framed by long wavy locks of hair colored azure blue, just like her eyes. Instead of normal ears, she had ones that resembled a feline's, situated exactly where a cat's ears would be. Behind her, a long blue furry tail waved idly in a distinctive pattern he recognized that she used when she was anxious or nervous. She was wearing a skimpy short-sleeved blue shirt that just barely covered the bottom of her breasts, showing more than enough cleavage to make a normal man ejaculate blood out of his nose in gushes. Her tight black pants ended just below her knees, and on her feet she wore a pair of comfortable-looking slipper shoes. Around her waist was a loose belt that was connected to a huge weapon that barely resembled a halberd which was probably as tall as him.

Of course, he wasn't taking in her appearance, but rather her eyes. They held a look of sadness in them. Not for him, but for the six great ninja that had been slain so many years ago.

Yet there they were, or there two of them were.

Naruto fully swiveled to face her and shook his head. "I haven't felt any strain of any sort, not since…" he trailed off melancholically, his eyes becoming glazed.

The woman, who looked to be in her early twenties, merely hugged him tighter. "Naruto-sama… If there is any thing I can do…"

Naruto smiled ruefully at her. "Heh. I knew I named you Makoto for a reason." He ruffled her azure hair fondly and brought his attention back to the one-sided battle. He chuckled lightly under his breath when he saw Makoto pout cutely in his peripheral vision.

A few minutes later, the last of the assaulting ninja was knocked unconscious.

The two ninja who won the nearly bloodless slaughter materialized before him again. Then Tsunade spoke. "We've completed the mission using non-lethal action." She grinned and pointed a thumb towards the scattered ninja moaning and groaning about in large quantities of pain.

Makoto rolled her eyes at the response. "Gah! Naruto-sama, don't you ever get tired of talking to yourself?"

As one, Tsunade, Kakashi, and Naruto himself smirked at the feline woman and said, "Nope. Keeps things interesting."

The blue haired woman shuddered. "Even after all these years, that still creeps me out," she muttered, her eye twitching in irritation.

Kakashi was the one to talk this time. "Oh, and here I thought that you'd be used to it already…" he mocked in a sing-song tone. Tsunade giggled behind her hand while Naruto laughed aloud.

Makoto glared weakly at each of them. Her tail twitched a little bit behind her. "I honestly have no idea how you maintain the energy and concentration to maintain it. Hell, your mental processes must be far more advanced than any creature known to man, what with your use of that technique!"

Naruto's laughter faded, but he still had a grin on his face. "Ah, but my dear Makoto-chan, I trained for seven hundred years in that time chamber, while before that, it took me nearly two hundred years just to get used to them being around."

Kakashi and Tsunade looked sheepish, causing Makoto to sweatdrop. "You…You are the weirdest person I have ever met."

It was the blonde immortal's turn to roll his eyes again, but he did so playfully. "I was also the first person you ever laid eyes on, idiot." He glanced behind her momentarily, ignoring her cry of mock outrage, and sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. He then addressed the other two…humans. "You two, continue your patrol. If you can, catch up with either team two or team three and help them out with whatever they need."

"Yes sir!" Both of them vanished in a swirl of leaves, leaving Naruto and Makoto alone.

"I sensed a few weak signatures nearby with hostile intent surrounding an even weaker signature," Naruto explained to Makoto, who nodded in understanding.

"What do you wish of me to do, Naruto-sama?" she questioned, shifting right into business mode, her ears perking upwards.

He held a hand up. "Don't do anything for now. I'll take care of it, but if there's the extremely improbable chance I need help, I want you on standby. Got it?" When she nodded, he smiled at her. "Okay then, let's go."

When they leapt up into the canopy of the forest, Makoto vanished from sight but Naruto knew she'd be right behind him, so he paid minimal attention to her, locking in on the source of the hostile chakra signatures. He stopped and perched when he reached the cause of his interest.

There were three thugs surrounding a black haired little boy, each of them holding steel pipes.

His eyes narrowed. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was bullies of any kind. He leaned forward on his tree branch to listen in.

"Heh, heh, heh... Whadda we got here? Some snot nosed little punk in our territory, eh?" the largest, and admittedly ugliest, one sneered to his partners. He hefted his makeshift weapon threateningly in his palm.

The other two chuckled maliciously. "Yeah, I think we do. What do we do now?" the second one mocked in a sing-song kind of voice, using his section of pipe to sharply prod the boy's forehead, causing said boy to cry out in pain.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Tuning out the rest of their standard bad guy spiel, he looked intently at the boy. 'Hmm... He has potential,' Naruto thought to himself. 'A lot of potential, but I haven't taken on a student in at least two hundred years, other than Makoto-chan...' There was a moment of silence, in which he realized that the boy was about to get pummeled. "Eh, what the hell. It'll pass the time at any rate." He jumped down off his perch and landed on one of the thugs' head, knocking him out.

The other two spun around and glared at him. "Who the fuck are you!?" they demanded. After getting no response and being blatantly ignored, the leader seethed. "Hey! I demand you tell me who the fuck you are, punk ass!" To add to effect, he brandished the pipe and waved it in his face.

The blonde scoffed. This little brat thought he could make him submit? A snowball had a better chance in hell. Instead, he merely replied with a lazy drawl, "Now why would I tell you that?" This only further incensed the men, which was the comment's true intention, and without warning, they attacked the blonde.

The child whom they were about to beat closed his eyes in fear, for expected his savior to be killed. Instead, he heard two quick sounds of flesh meeting flesh and then two pain-filled groans. He gingerly opened his eyes and then gaped at the blonde who stood, rubbing his hands against the black cloak he wore. He gulped out of fear as Naruto walked towards him, and closed his eyes again, this time in fear of being rebuked. Instead, he felt a gentle hand pat his head.

"You okay, kiddo?" Naruto asked softly, as he knew the trauma of being bullied by those years older than you.

The kid sniffed and then grabbed him in a hug before bawling his eyes out.

"Hey, shh, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed, gently whispering in the boy's ear, and rubbing his back in a relaxing motion. "They won't hurt you. I took care of them, so they won't hurt you anymore."

"R-Really?" the boy stammered, looking at Naruto with his tear-stained face. At Naruto's nod, he merely lowered his head and hugged the man tighter.

Naruto's eyes widened and he glanced down at the boy, who was now suddenly fast asleep in his lap. 'That hug might have crushed a lesser man's ribs!' he thought in amazement. 'This kid is definitely going to be my student...if his parents let him.' He scowled and glared at the thugs. 'If he has parents, that is.'

"Makoto!" he called out, and instantly she appeared by his side. "I trust that you watched me?" She nodded. "Good. Take this child to safe house number twenty-seven. Make sure he stays asleep. I'll go and collect the others."

Gingerly taking the surprisingly light boy in her arms, she nodded once more without a word and left to journey to the specified location.

**

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**

Grumbling to himself, Naruto found another clearing and sat down in the middle of it.

Patiently, he waited for a few minutes before six other figures came upon his clearing. Two of them were familiar – Tsunade and Kakashi – but the other four had their faces obscured by differing masks, and black material from the masks extended over their heads until it fully enveloped, leaving no sign to be recognizable. They, too, wore the same black and orange cloaks that the two blondes and the silver haired nin wore.

"So…" started off Kakashi after a rather awkward silence. In the background, you could just faintly see tumbleweed gently rolling by.

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "We're here to discuss the current Hokage's request, baka."

One of the masked people, the one with a tiger mask, snorted. "You're only calling yourself that, Tsu-chan," she said teasingly, though her voice was clearly distorted through the mask. At will, she removed her mask to reveal a different looking Mitarashi Anko. Her face was the same, but her eyes were bright yellow (with actual pupils) and her hair was let loose in a simplistic style and seemed longer.

She smirked deviously at the odd group. "After all, we are all the same person."

Naruto coughed into his hand, catching his other selves' attention. He grinned at Anko, who waved cheerily at him, and said, "Okay, that's enough out of me for now. Time to get down to business." He frowned and stood up, tapping a finger against his cheek in thought. "Now... the Hokage said that tensions with several other villages were rising to the point of war breaking out. Peace talks between them calmed things down, but shit's bound to hit the fan. Most likely in a few months or so, since that last war a couple of years ago pretty much destroyed most of each of the villages' forces."

"So that means that the few months we speculate will be put to use reconstructing their homes and such and rebuilding their military force," Kakashi concluded, leaning against a tree.

Tsunade frowned. "So what does the Hokage want with me then?" She wilted a little under the looks she received. "Er...us, I meant..." the blonde added sheepishly.

Anko rolled her eyes and balanced back and forth on the balls of her feet energetically. "Heh... The brat's worried about Konoha, so more than likely, she wants us to come back to the village to provide some extra security."

The man with a lion mask people spoke in a flat voice. "It would also prove beneficial if we came back, as it would bring morale to the current forces."

Anko smirked at the man and poked his mask. "Y'know, you shouldn't keep your pretty face hidden like that, Lion-kun..." Her smirk widened when she her male counterpart become embarrassed, even though they shared the same mind.

"Alright," Kakashi called loudly, ignoring their little discussion. "So what do we want to do?"

Another masked person, one who was obviously a woman from the large bulge at her chest area, stated, "I think we should return to Konoha. Besides, it's just about time to check on Naruto's clan."

Seeing as how the attention was turned back on him, Naruto sighed once again. "Yeah, yeah, so we'll go to Konoha. But what to do about the boy I picked up? He shows a lot of potential..."

Tsunade immediately agreed with it. "We should do it. After all, we haven't taken in a student in a long time since Makoto-chan, like you thought before."

After a moment, everyone seconded her decision. "So it's settled then. After we get him up and awake, I'll spend a month with him before going to Konoha."

Everybody else nodded. The last masked person, who was another woman, had stayed silent throughout the whole conversation, but added her two cents in. "What should we do in the meantime?"

Naruto paused for a second. "Go out and spy on the other villages." He got up and turned to leave, but stopped to add, "We'll rendezvous in Konoha in a month."

All of them vanished without a trace.

**

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**

When he arrived at the safe house - with no sign of Makoto anywhere; although she was probably out getting more supplies - Naruto came to one conclusion.

Now that he looked the boy over, he definitely had pure potential.

His chakra coils were surprisingly well developed, even though they hadn't been used yet. As for his chakra itself, well all Naruto could say was that it was high Jonin, possibly bordering Kage level. The boy himself didn't look like much at first glance. He was roughly six or seven years old, with scruffy black hair that went to his shoulders. He was maybe four and a half feet tall, as opposed to his own six-foot stature, and looked to be growing quite well.

There were minor signs of malnourishment too, but at least his ribs weren't showing. He had slight muscles, more than likely trying to defend himself against any attackers, or running from them at any rate.

But other than that, he was perfect!

Naruto slapped himself lightly. "Oh man, I think I'm channeling Orochimaru. Not good," he groaned. He shook his head in disdain at the thought of that foul monstrosity, but quieted down once the boy showed signs of waking.

He blinked blearily, showing small beady black eyes that were filled with life. He looked around for a moment to take in his surroundings before his little eyes settled on Naruto, who was sitting backwards on a chair facing him.

Naruto smiled. "Ah, good to see my guest is awake!" He left the chair to go sit on the edge of the bed the child was resting on. "So how ya feelin', kiddo?"

The boy smiled back shyly and replied with a soft, "I-I feel okay...Thanks to you..."

The immortal blonde nodded. "Heh, that's good. So, you hungry? I got some food, if you want some." He pointed a thumb over to a table where a few plates filled with food had been set up.

The boy shook his head rapidly, not wanting to impose on his savior. "N-No, i-it's alright..." His stomach betrayed him as it rumbled loudly, causing its owner to blush in shame.

Naruto chuckled and ruffled the kid's hair, causing his blush to deepen. "Oho? I'd say you're pretty hungry. C'mon, there's plenty for both of us."

He gently lifted the boy and carried him over to the table, where he set him down and moved to his own spot. Both of them dug in and shared a comfortable silence as they devoured the meal.

"Hey, kid, what's your name, anyway? I don't wanna be callin' you kiddo all the time now, eh?" Naruto said as he set the pile of plates in the sink.

The boy thought it over for a second before answering shyly. "Yamamoto-Shigekuni...Genryusai..." he mumbled, turning his head away to hide his blush.

"Yamamoto-Shigekuni Genryusai..." Naruto rolled the name on his tongue for a few seconds before grinning. "Well, then, Genryusai-kun! I'm Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto; nice to meetcha!" He cheerfully stuck his hand out in greeting.

Genryusai stared at the offending limb before reaching out and giving a feeble shake and quickly retracting his hand again.

Naruto gave him an amused look. "It's not like I'm gonna bite you, Genryusai-kun."

He startled, and gave the blonde a sorrowful look. "S-Sorry! I'm sorry, Naruto-sama!"

The immortal lifted an eyebrow and frowned. "Naruto'-sama'?" he questioned.

Genryusai nodded swiftly. "Y-You saved me, Naruto-sama..."

Naruto rolled his eyes and sighed. It seemed that he'd have to break the kid of his shyness. "Well, whatever..." he mumbled before perking up again. "Say, where are your parents anyway? Shouldn't they have been with you?"

He knew he shouldn't have asked that as soon as he saw Genryusai's eyes water up. "They-They're dead..."

As soon as Naruto gathered him up in his arms, the boy let loose a torrent of tears.

No words needed to be said as the young boy slowly fell asleep in his arms again.

**

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**

The next morning, after they had awoken (or rather, Genryusai had, because Naruto rarely ever needed sleep) and eaten breakfast, Naruto inquired, "Do you have anywhere to go, Genryusai-kun?"

The boy shook his head roughly, staying silent. However, he was looking at Naruto with an imperfect puppy-dog look that looked cute regardless. Naruto was the first person who had showed him any kindness, and he was really hoping that the man would let him stay with him!

Naruto chuckled and ruffled the kid's hair, making him blush at the affection. "Well, I guess you could stay with me—Oof!"

He was interrupted by Genryusai tackling him in a big hug. Once again, he was crying, but Naruto knew that it was of happiness.

The man laughed, and gently pushed him away. "So I'll take that as a yes, then, huh?"

Genryusai nodded fervently, and Naruto had to stop his head manually. "Can you...can you show me how to be cool like you!?" he exclaimed childishly, after thinking about how easily his savior had taken down those bad men.

"Sure thing, kiddo. In fact, you could even become a ninja!"

When he say Genryusai's eyes widen, he could have sworn he was looking at an owl. "Really!?" His eyes become sparkly, causing Naruto to sweatdrop.

"Yup. Actually, in about a month, I'm heading to the biggest ninja village, Konoha. You can enter their ninja academy there."

His statement caused the boy, in a total 180 from his previous shyness, to jump up and shout, "Yay! I'm gonna be a cool ninja like Naruto-sama!"

Naruto's sweatdrop returned with a vengeance. 'What the hell is with this kid?'

He shook his head and thought for a minute, ignoring his dancing charge. "Wait a second..." He threw a sideways glance at the boy and a sly smile grew on his face.

"Hey, Genryusai-kun..." he called slyly, who froze and stood with rapt attention. "I have something special to show you..."

Grabbing the boy and quickly dashing a note for Makoto to find, he disappeared with him in a plume of fire.

Meanwhile, in six parts of the shinobi nations, six people smirked at they received a mental notice.

**

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**

Exactly a month later, two figures could be seen walking lucidly towards the gate.

One of them was unmistakable, even for the newest generation of shinobi. Namikaze Naruto calmly strode forward, still wearing the Akatsuki-like cloak from before with his arm still loose in it in a sling-like fashion. A Konoha headband shone proudly from his forehead, slightly taming his unruly, spiky blonde hair. By his side was an unknown man.

He looked to be about twenty-one years of age. His black hair was long and strung in a simple ponytail. He wore a simple sleeveless shirt and pants underneath another Akatsuki-like cloak, but this one was opened and pushed back by the man's arms which were jammed in his pants pockets. His face was mature and handsome, and his eyes were like two small beads of onyx.

"So, this is Konoha, Naruto-sama?" the man questioned, tilting his head towards the gate.

Naruto groaned irritably. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that!"

The man smirked. "Only if you stop calling me Genryusai, Naruto-sama." Genryusai, or Yamamoto as he now preferred to be called, watched amusedly as his mentor pouted like a child. "Besides, I seem to recall that you'd take me to Konoha in a month, not fourteen years."

The immortal waved his hand tiredly. "Technically, it was only a month. The time dilation deal makes the difference a little sketchy, and even though I constructed the damn thing, it always gives me a random time conversion, so don't blame me."

Yamamoto rolled his eyes. "Whatever. So when are your 'associates' going to meet us?" He had previously been informed of Naruto's little ability during his time under the seal, but he hadn't seen them up close before.

"Hmm..." He stared up into the clouds and mumbled. "In three, two, one..."

On cue, seven figures darted out from behind them. While Naruto paid them no mind, continuing leisurely towards the village of his birth, Yamamoto wasn't familiar with any of them and grabbed a concealed sword that he pointed to him.

"Woah, easy there, kiddo," a purple-haired woman dressed in the same cloak as Naruto said in a familiar tone. She had her hands up in mock surrender, but a wide smirk made it clear she had no intention of surrendering anyway.

Wearily, the black-haired man slid his kunai back its pouch. "So I take it you are Naruto-sama's other bodies then?"

Anko shrugged, meeting Tsunade's eyes for a moment. "Yeah, something like that," they said in tandem.

Makoto interrupted them. "Hey, don't confuse me with them!" she exclaimed, waving her arms comically, causing the huge weapon on her back to jiggle, as well as her large assets. "I'm just following Naruto-sama too!"

Naruto broke in, then, barking out, "If you want to waste time, then do so in the village!" He was standing some feet away from them, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Coming!" both Makoto and Anko shouted. They stared at each other and grinned, and then raced towards the gates. Tsunade and Kakashi chuckled and followed them, with the remaining three figures seeming to sigh behind their masks before following as well.

Yamamoto found it very strange that his sensei's 'other bodies' acted like separate people, Makoto apparently excluded, but decided not to comment on it, instead making his way towards Naruto.

After they signed in at the gates, they made their way to the Hokage Tower located in the center of the village…

**

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**

Notes:

In an advanced response to any comments I may or may not receive, you could call this story shallow and filled with plot holes, but like I say in my profile, this is mostly an idea that I want to try out until I can come back and refine it.

On another note, Naruto's situation with multiple bodies is somewhat like Pain's, but much more complex. Obviously, it has something to do with the Kyubi, and it'll be explained in further chapters, if I can get around to doing them - school's been keeping me pretty busy, not to mention frustrated. If I can get enough free time, I'll probably continue this.

The Bleach crossover will fully kick in around chapter three or four, but like I said, only if I can get around to doing it. And don't bitch about Yamamoto; he's well over two thousand years old by the time Bleach's main story rolls by, and right now he's young, so there's bound to be OOCness.

The same goes for Naruto. He's over three thousand years old, if only two thousand physically.

And Makoto will be explained later (much later) as well.

Plus, this IS a fanfiction, so pretty much anything goes. If anything seems familiar, it's purely coincidental. Besides, this was a stream of consciousness type thing anyway.


	2. Chapitre Deux

Sorry about the delay. School, and on top of that, my internet connection is extremely fuzzy. As a result, this came out rushed, but hopefully you'll like it. I also decided to leave the first chapter alone…for now, anyway.

And now, in an ironic moment to practice for my French class: "_Maintenant, sur le chapitre deux!_"

[edited: 10/19/09, 4/5/10]

**

* * *

**

Namikaze Fumiko, the current family head of the Namikaze clan other than the infamous Namikaze Naruto himself, was enjoying a nice 'stress relief session' with her fiancé Takeshi. He was so gentle with her! She cooed into his ear as she felt him hit one of her pleasure spots with his tongue. Oh, it felt so _goooood_…

"Ooh, yes, right there, ooooh…"

He paused in his ministrations to passionately kiss her, which she returned eagerly, then resumed teasing her nipple with his tongue. "Yeah, that feels so good…"

Unfortunately for them, they never noticed the impatient knocking on the door. Takeshi grinned mentally as he heard her moan in pleasure. He was about to continue downward to her nether regions when the door suddenly was knocked off its hinges. Both of them jumped up, and startled would be an understatement for them. They were pretty much completely embarrassed that they'd been caught having sex, and in her office no less!

Together, they both turned to face the intruder, only to meet eye to eye with Namikaze Naruto himself.

He had a rather peculiar expression on his face as he made eye contact with them. "Er…whoops?"

After seeing her ancestor in the flesh, Fumiko blushed a dark shade of crimson. Then she growled angrily and clenched her fists. "NARUTO-BAKA!"

She bitch slapped him so hard, he literally flew out the window. Takeshi winced, but decided not to voice his concern, instead mumbling, "Em, Fumiko-chan, perhaps we should get dressed."

As Fumiko realized what she'd done, she blushed even darker than she did before. "…that would be a good idea."

Both of them scrambled for their clothes, and hastily donned them. As soon as he was finished, Takeshi kissed her one last time before jumping out the window.

Naruto appeared as soon as she was finished dressing herself. "Heh, never took you for a pervert, Fumiko-chan," he stated with a sly grin.

She whirled around, startled once again before realizing who it was. "Naruto-jii! Why'd you have to go and do that!" she whined, stomping her feet and scowling heavily.

The man in question merely shrugged. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you two were going at it."

Fumiko huffed and crossed her arms under her breasts. "You could have knocked, you know…"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I did knock. For about twenty seven minutes."

"Oh." Fumiko scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. She narrowed her eyes and pointed a finger at him. "But that didn't mean you had to go and bust down my door, dammit!"

"Hey, just be glad I don't have Makoto with me right now," Naruto retorted. This immediately pacified the woman, who shivered at the thought. "Anyway, I'm here for that meeting. Why the hell did you tell me to wait a whole month in the first place?"

Fumiko's eyebrow twitched. "Who gave you the mission scroll?"

Her ancestor shrugged. "Some black-haired kid with glasses."

She scowled. "So that's why you came only now. That son of a…" Shaking her head, she sighed and slouched down into her chair. "Whatever. The point is, we need you. All of you. Not to mention Makoto-san as well, Naruto-jii. Not only will it help with the defense of the village, but with you here, morale will rise for sure, which is something we desperately need with our ninja nowadays."

Naruto chuckled, causing Fumiko to glare sharply at him. "It's not funny, Naruto-jii! This is a serious situation! I doubt that all of _you_ can take them out!"

"Oh? And why's that?" he asked curiously.

"There are reports coming in that one of the enemy villages created a jutsu especially for use against you. They haven't determined what it is, but it's got the Grand Alliance all excited. None of our agents can even get close to uncovering it."

Here, she paused to pour herself some water and took a sip.

"Every single one of them so far has been rooted out and killed, so we had to halt that investigation. But we still receive intel that it's some pretty serious firepower for use against the Immortal Hokage." She leaned forward a bit. "I'm not saying that you're weak, far from it, but just watch out for it when the time comes."

She received light laughter in reply. "Nah, it's most likely nothing, Fumiko-chan, but I'll keep an eye out, 'kay?" He waved a hand dismissively. "If I die, then I'll die. I've lived far more than my fair share of time anyway."

Fumiko remained silent, but her eyes glared at him. "…fine. Do what you like. That's what you _always_ do."

Naruto frowned. "Hey, don't be like that. I understand that you're afraid that I'll die, but death comes to everybody at some point." He tilted his head. "Well, for _almost_ anybody," he added nonchalantly. He reached over the desk and placed his hands on her shoulders and smiled. Somehow, his descendants had retained most of his family traits, even after all those years, much to his amusement.

"I've been around for a long time, Fumiko," he stated seriously. "I've seen things no person should ever see. Nobody can understand me, least of all you. So I'm not afraid to die. Hell, I don't know if I can die at all. But if I do kick the bucket, then you have to be strong. Be strong for this village. Be strong for yourself. Whenever I see any of my family die, one of you guys, it hurts me too. But I remain strong because they looked up to me as their grandfather…" he trailed off in reminiscence. "That gives me the strength to keep their memories alive, you know?"

There was another tense and awkward silence.

When she started to sniffle, he smiled softly and positioned his body to hug her.

"You know what I see whenever I look at you?" He felt her shake her head as she leaning into his chest. "I see a little blonde four year old girl running towards me, waving a scroll in the air, _demanding_ that I teach her. You're so much like me sometimes. I actually think it's in the genes." His chest shook as she half sobbed-half giggled into it.

"And you're still baka-jii…" she mumbled.

Naruto smirked and shifted his head upwards.

"That I am."

**

* * *

**

Approximately an hour later, he was ignoring the bows and low murmurs of his return to Konoha, in favor of finding out where the hell Makoto, Yamamoto, and half of his other bodies went. He'd been too emotional in that moment with Fumiko, that his control slipped ever so slightly, and he hadn't paid attention to them through the mind link.

Most of the time, he had full control over each individual body. If certain events occurred, however, such as a slight slip in control, then some of his control in the more…_unruly_ bodies would become semi-isolated from the "collective", so to speak. Unfortunately, the only way to reestablish the mental link was to knock them out and enter a meditative state. Regardless, they were still the same person all right, but each body contained an 'alternate personality' of sorts. For some odd reason, the personalities tended to be nearly identical to the original soul of the body. Anko, for example, acted exactly like her original soul did three thousand years ago; lustful, playful, bloodthirsty, etc.

There was a complex process that went into the technique, though the execution was rather simple, but he used it to its maximum potential with the only complaint early on being that it was his close friends and family whose bodies were used. He figured that it was partially the previous Kyubi's fault before she disappeared, but he didn't blame her; they'd already been dead.

What he hadn't known, though, and still didn't know, was that when he became the new Kyubi no Yoko, he essentially absorbed Tsunade, Kakashi, Anko, and the other three's souls by expanding his soul's own energy as a 'net' and unconsciously using his very body as an anchor for said 'net'. In doing so, he effectively merged them with his own soul, unknowingly using his chakra to keep them from disappearing. It was a little cruel, but to be fair, he still didn't know about it. He would, very soon, he just didn't know it.

The only thing he wouldn't do was stoop to Nagato, or rather, Pain's level. It would be stupid to do so. But the Union, as he'd come to call himself, and the Six Paths were so different and yet so similar it was sort of scary.

Right now, though, going back to his current predicament, the only thing that he could think of was…

He slapped his forehead in exasperation. "Oh shit. Don't tell me…"

One of his still masked bodies, a female with a bird mask, sighed from behind him. "I'm afraid so," Bird said with a slight chuckle.

Naruto hung his head. "Fuck. That's the last thing we need right now." He groaned at the thought of those three. "Fuck," he repeated. "Let's go before they cause any property damage…"

When he finally found the three unmasked ones, they were piss-faced drunk and singing a lewd song on top of the bar's counter. Nearby, Yamamoto tried to hide his face while Makoto sang along, her flushed face giving away her intoxication.

Naruto and Bird could only stare in horrified shock as another beat started up and the trio started to sing again.

_I bang on the door but you won't let me in,  
__'cause you're sick and tired of me reeking of gin.  
__Locked all the doors from the front to the back,  
__And left me a note telling me I should pack._

Anko and Tsunade punctuated the last line by yelling "Get out!" at Kakashi and giggling.

_I walk in the bar and the fellas all cheer,  
__They order me up a whiskey and beer._ (This line was, in fact, also punctuated by all the patrons doing a mini-cheer and clinking together their drinks.)  
_You ask me why I'm writing this poem,  
__Some call it a tavern but I call it home._

_Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk!_

_Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!_

_You've given me an option, you say I must choose,  
__'tween you and the liquor, then I'll take the booze!  
__Jumpin' on Western down to the South side,  
__Where I'll sit down and exercise my Ninja pride!_

By now, the whole bar was singing along, horribly off-key.

_Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk!_

_Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__Fuck you, I'm drunk  
__And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm druuunk!_

Tsunade drawled out 'drunk' before stepping forward and falling off the counter in an undignified heap.

Bird sweatdropped heavily at the scene while the blonde man facefaulted. "Hey, get off that stage!" he shouted angrily after recovering. He jumped in front of them and dragged them out of the bar, yelling a quick, "Sorry!" to the bartender. Makoto staggered after him, giggling like a fangirl, and still clutching a rather large bottle with another unopened one grasped by her tail.

The patrons booed him for a second before happily returning to their beer, ignorant of the beat-down occurring right outside their safe little haven.

Yamamoto peeked out from between his fingers a minute later, and blinked in confusion. "Huh? Where'd everybody go?"

He heard punching from outside, and walked cautiously to the front door of the bar. He moved it slightly open, just in case, only for Kakashi to slam into his head. After pushing the unconscious man away with some difficulty, he managed out, "Hey, what the–"

Only for both Tsunade and Anko to slam into him as well.

Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry," he smirked at his pupil, wiping his un-bandaged hand on his cloak. Bird stood beside him, with Makoto slumped over her shoulder. By the way her shoulder was shaking, he could tell she was laughing silently at his predicament

Yamamoto responded with groan of pain; Anko had a rather hard head that hit another head that was rather hard at the moment, but not in a good way.

"I don't think I'll have children anytime soon," he croaked out, grasping his damaged package.

"What, seriously?" Naruto asked dubiously.

A painful nod.

"Shit, I didn't think her head was that hard…" He shrugged. "Well, whatever. When you're feeling better, meet me at the Namikaze Estate." Without so much as a second glance, he picked up the unconscious bodies and vanished, Bird following him a second later.

Crocodile tears poured down Yamamoto's cheeks as he continued to nurse his jewels.

"You're so cruel, Naruto-sama…!"

Yet another hour passed by as he finally recovered enough strength to walk cowboy-style to Naruto's home.

When Anko, who had recovered along with the others sans Makoto, saw him, she ever-so-eloquently inquired, "The fuck happened to you?"

Yamamoto growled at her. Why did she have to be the only one home? "You should know! You're all one person anyway!" He then flipped her off and ambled over to the fridge to retrieve a large amount of ice to numb the pain further.

Anko rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But you don't understand the link we have, dumbass."

"Then please, explain it to me!" he exclaimed in a high voice, as a result of applying a bag of ice to his nuts.

"Damn it, where are my other bodies when you need 'em?" she mumbled before sighing. "Okay, it's like this kid. We may be one person, but each body possesses a unique aspect of the original, Naruto's, personality. Since we are split between bodies, there are circumstances where the mental link we share with each other personality can become semi-isolated, like before. When we're linked, we know what we're doing simultaneously…er, I mean that we know what each of our other selves are doing in real time.

"Our core personality is the same, though each of us has different traits that the others don't. Hence, that's why we prefer to talk to each other out loud, despite the fact that we have the same mind. And because of that, our mental processes are extremely fast; you can liken it to about a hundred, or even a thousand, times faster than a normal human being. But since we're technically not human anyway, that doesn't apply to me, or us actually."

Yamamoto nodded slowly, knowing the meaning of the non-human comment. "Okay, I can see that now. But what happens when you become 'semi-isolated' or whatever?"

Anko shrugged and leaned back. "Exactly that. Under certain circumstances, the link between us and the main body, Naruto, can malfunction, but it's not exactly that, either..."

She paused, trying to come up with a comparison before continuing. "Think of it like an almost severed rope. Most of it is cut off, but it's still held together by a single thread. That's what happens with us, although our link can never be fully severed. Like, that last thread for us would be a steel chain instead of straw or nylon or whatever. That's the fail-safe that this 'technique' has built into it. And the reason why I don't remember what happened to you is because whenever we become semi-isolated, memories from our other selves take a while to kick in."

"Oh... So are you _connected_ now?"

Anko smirked. "Yup. So technically, even though you're talking to me, you're also talking to Naruto, Tsunade, Kakashi and those dorks who like to keep their masks on."

"Ah." Yamamoto fumbled with his ice pack for a second. "That makes much more sense now. Thanks, Anko-san."

They shared an amicable silence for all of a second before Anko was smacked hard on the back of her head.

"Who the hell are you calling a dork?"

"Ow!" Anko clutched at her head and moaned pitifully. "That hurt, you know!"

Behind her mask, Yamamoto could almost picture Bird rolling her eyes. "No shit. Like you just explained to Yamamoto-kun here, I'm you and you're me."

Bird pulled off her mask in a swift move, revealing bright locks of long, pink hair and emerald eyes. "Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you, Yamamoto-kun. Although, I've sort of met you before. I'm Haruno Sakura!" She smiled brightly. "Or, at least, that's the name I go by. Like Anko-baka said before, I'm actually part of Naruto-kun." Anko stuck her tongue out in reply to her statement.

Yamamoto blinked. "Er… It's nice to meet you to…?" he muttered, keeping one hand on the ice while the other rubbed the nape of his neck. "I'm sorry; this is kind of confusing to me."

Sakura waved a hand dismissively while Anko pouted in the background. "Don't worry about it. You should've seen us when we first were like this. _That_ was confusing." She giggled at the memory.

Anko chortled and added her own two cents. "Yeah. You're a guy all your life, then imagine waking up in seven bodies simultaneously, four of which are girls! That was a shock!"

The black-haired man recoiled slightly. "Wait. You're parts of Naruto-sama… but that means that… you're really _men_!?" He paled in horror at the thought.

Both of the _girls_ rolled their eyes at him. "Wow, you're being stupid. We're pretty much, but not quite, alternate personalities, which means that we are _part_ of Naruto, not that we're actually Naruto _himself_," they said in tandem, freaking him out.

"I'm Sakura and she's Anko, but even though we're the _same person_, we're not _each other_," she explained, confusing him even more.

"Whoa, wait, what?" He looked from woman to woman, a frown marring his face. "But you just said–"

Sakura sighed. "We are all part of a whole, Yamamoto-kun. That is what we mean by we're the same person. But parts aren't always the same, you see?"

"You shouldn't be so quick to judge, Yamamoto-san," a new voice interrupted from behind them.

They turned to see Kakashi and the lion-masked man walk into the room. The silver-haired man had been the one to speak, and he continued on, saying, "We're like a puzzle. All part of one whole picture, but none of the pieces are the same size or shape. Despite that, we all fit _snugly_ together to make that picture."

Anko yawned lazily and flicked a thumb at Kakashi, who settled down in an adjacent chair. "What he said." Lion merely nodded his head at her, indicating agreement.

"Okay…" Yamamoto slumped down into his chair. "I…think I get it now."

"You'll get used to it." Looking up, he saw that the man of the hour himself had shown up. Naruto smiled crookedly at him. "I still find it weird sometimes, after all these years. Right, guys?" Yamamoto glanced around and saw everybody grinning sheepishly at him, except Lion who still donned his mask, and Kakashi who still donned his half-mask – though he deployed his classic eye-smile, of course.

Those smiles vanished as Naruto cleared his throat. "There's something important we have to tell you, Yamamoto…"

Once again, somebody interrupted the conversation, this time the person being the current Hokage, Fumiko.

"Naruto-jii!" she cried, trying to catch her breath. "They…! It…!"

Naruto grabbed her and guided her to the couch. "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

Fumiko shook her head rapidly. "They changed it to tomorrow! _They're coming_ _tomorrow_! I just got the word!"

All of them stiffened except Yamamoto. "What's going on?" He frowned and furrowed his brow.

"Shit," Tsunade commented, coming in at that time followed by a sober Makoto and the last unmasked woman. "That changes a lot of things."

Fumiko scowled at her. "I know that, dammit!" She downed a glass of water Naruto procured for her and resumed scowling, deep in thought.

Kakashi scratched his throat idly. "Hmm… We need to have every available ninja be battle ready by morning then. Not an easy task."

Anko snorted and crossed her legs. "Ya think?" She smirked and added, "That just means I have more of a challenge setting up my traps, though." She pointed at Sakura. "You're helping me, too, Pinkie."

"Fine, you're my teammate anyway," Sakura retorted. "What I want to know is why they stepped it up to tomorrow." She looked to Fumiko for an answer.

Fumiko shook her head again, this time in disdain. "When they heard that Naruto-jii was coming back to the village, apparently they increased preparations tenfold." She frowned. "I guess they want to take out the Immortal Hokage, or try to; like they did the last war."

"Well, then…" Naruto began, but Yamamoto cut him off.

"Please, tell me, what the hell's going on!" he yelled irritably, not liking being left in the dark.

He shrank back a little when they all stared at him, but he wanted in on whatever was going on.

Naruto sighed and answered his question. "The Grand Alliance is going to invade Konoha tomorrow."

He was shocked. "What, tomorrow!?" If the Grand Alliance was coming _here_, then some heavy shit was going to go down. "How the hell are they gonna get here!?"

Fumiko answered this time with a dispassionate shrug. "Summons, vehicles, whatever I don't care. The point is that we're going to be invaded tomorrow."

Yamamoto bit back a curse. "But why the hell are you all acting so casual about it?"

Makoro, who'd been silent for the whole conversation, quietly stated, "This isn't the first time Konoha's been invaded."

He stared at her, then at each of them for a split second. Determination grew in his eyes and with steely resolve, he asked, "So what can I do to help?"

That was met with slightly different reactions. Naruto chuckled and ruffled his hair. Sakura giggled at him while Makoto and Fumiko looked at him dubiously. The two masked people remained silent in a corner of the room, merely observing him.

Anko and Tsunade, on the other hand, smirked devilishly at him, and Kakashi flashed him an eye-smile.

"For tomorrow, you're sticking with me, kid," he said heartily, his eye glinting mischievously.

Yamamoto shivered.

**

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**

Uh…yeah. And that's Chapitre Deux for you. Another stream-of-consciousness attempt at fanfiction. Yay.

If anybody can send some constructive criticism, or help with fight scenes (which I suck at), that would be greatly appreciated.

On another note, I feel like kicking myself for that weird explanation of the so-called 'technique'. Hopefully it makes sense to you. Eh.

The song, if you want to know, is a slightly edited version of "Fuck You, I'm Drunk" by Flogging Molly. I was listening to it when I was writing this and before I knew it, it made its way into the fic somehow.

These are Naruto's "Alternate Selves" so far:

Team One

Rabbit – Tsunade

Dog – Kakashi

Team Two

Bird – Sakura

Tiger – Anko

Team Three

Wolf – ?? female

Lion – ?? male

Tsunade is Rabbit because of her strong-ass kicks, and Kakashi is Dog because…he's Dog. Sakura is Bird for some reason, and Anko is Tiger because she _is_ sort of like a tigress.

You can guess who the last two are, but I'm not revealing them yet, though it's obvious in a way. Or not.


	3. Chapitre Trois

Hmhmhm… thanks for the reviews and favs, peoples of FF.N.

To a certain anonymous reviewer, you're partially right. They do have the shared sight, but they just prefer to talk to each other. It helps, I've heard, having company over thousands of years.

This chapter is going to feel rushed, but that's only because I wanted to get to the Bleach world ASAP. For the record, a lot of parts will be from Yamamoto's POV. And the fight scenes will more than likely suck ass, considering that I can't write them to save my life, but I try.

Yet another attempt to speak (or write) French: "Maintenant, monsieurs et madames, je vous presente _chapitre trois!_"

[edited: 10/19/09, 4/5/10]

_Addendum 4/5/10: Took out the last part and added it to Chapitre Quatre to give it a little more length._

**

* * *

**

Yamamoto was right to be afraid, in a way

Wave upon wave of enemy shinobi had come up to the gates of Konoha around noon the next day, although about a fifth of their forces had soon been killed by the various traps Team Two, aka Anko and Sakura, had set up the previous night.

He looked around dispassionately from his place atop the Hokage Tower as fights occurred all around him. Everywhere, he saw kunai or swords clash in showers of sparks. In the distance, huge summoning creatures duked it out, creating miniature earthquakes that could still be felt for miles. Kakashi, though, had left him to his own device once he felt Naruto call him.

Using a sensor technique, he could feel his mentor and father-figure fighting several powerful people. Despite the fact that he knew Naruto had been around for many years, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of worry course its way through his body. But he ignored it and turned his attention back to the city-wide brawl at hand, searching for areas to help out.

Seemingly unknown to him, a figure stealthily snuck up from behind, an assassin's kodachi poised to strike down upon him. But then Yamamoto turned around and kicked his would-be killer's face in particularly hard, crushing his skull and all but smashing his brains into goo. He was probably only a speed specialist, which meant that he wasn't strong, which also meant that he was killed very easily.

He sighed and kicked his leg again, effectively throwing the blood off of the limb. He shook his head and jumped down off the tower, spotting a group of Chunin getting their asses handed to them on a silver platter.

"Well, off to battle then," he mumbled to himself.

As he arrived to the scene, he decided to hang back a second and assess the situation. Four Konoha shinobi lay in pools of their own blood, still very much alive, much to Yamamoto's morbid surprise. The remaining three standing were wounded as well, but not as much as the ones on the ground. Their opponents, six ninja from Kumo and two from Iwa, barely had a scratch on them.

"Just give up, you weaklings!" one of them sneered, pointing his sword at the outmatched group. Yamamoto rolled his eyes at such a cliché line.

They started fighting again with vigor. When a Konoha Chunin was about to get his head lopped off, Yamamoto decided to intervene then, blocking the sword with his own concealed blade. It was small and durable, just under four feet, and was hidden on his back, underneath his cloak. The black-haired man smirked at the Kumo nin and coated his blade with chakra, pushing forward with extra pressure, cracking his opponent's blade in half. Luckily for Yamamoto, the other half of the sword imbedded itself into the neck of another enemy nin, making one less foe for him to deal with.

He cracked his neck and thrust his sword forward. "Come on, that sucked! Surely ninja of your caliber can do much better?" he taunted, knowing that it would enrage the idiots, bringing all of their attention to him. He eyed the Konoha nin, who looked at him and nodded, picking up their wounded and escaping. The two Iwa nin moved to follow them, but Yamamoto appeared in front of them, blocking their way. "And where do you think you're going? Hmm?" he drawled.

The Kumo nins joined them and surrounded Yamamoto. "And what the hell are you going to do about it, punk-ass motherfucker!?" a nameless shinobi laughed at him disbelievingly.

Said person had his head removed from his body mid-laugh. "That's what," Yamamoto retorted smugly, his blade sparkling crimson now.

That enticed the rest of them to attack him head on. He dodged a punch to his ribs and launched a haymaker of his own to his attacker's face, temporarily knocking him out of the fight. The rest of them met the same fate, either dead or alive, until the last one stood her ground.

She swung her sword at him, but he ducked and slashed at her knees. She flipped forward, avoiding the strike, and brought her sword downwards, aiming for his neck. Yamamoto quickly brought his weapon and parried, but she recovered and stabbed at his side. He brought his arm up, and the sword met the limb, but didn't cut him. He smirked and pulled his sleeves up, revealing long dark orange bracers that extended to his elbows.

Her eyes narrowed, and she dashed forwards, her blade dragging against the ground. Yamamoto merely continued to smirk as she brought her sword up. And with it, a shower of sharp rocks, the effect of a Doton jutsu.

He grunted then grinned as the rock needles hit him, exploding in a cloud of smoke. "A _Kage Bunshin!?_" she exclaimed, glancing all around her. "That's a _lost technique!_ How the fuck do you know that!?"

The kunoichi felt something cold against her neck. "My teacher is Namikaze Naruto," he muttered in her ear, reluctantly enjoying the way her eyes widened, and quickly slit her throat.

Yamamoto sighed and flicked his blade. "Jeez, some people…"

His own eyes widened as he felt a powerful chakra signature flare. "Naruto-sama!" he cried, and bounded off, hoping to reach his teacher in time.

**

* * *

**

Makoto sighed in a tired manner, yawning afterwards. Her ears were drooped, and her tail was waving lazily behind her. She was leaning on her huge halberd, which was plunged into the dirt.

Her opponent's eye twitched. "Are you gonna take this seriously or what, bitch!?" she growled.

The catgirl pouted at her. "If you must insult me, at least call me by my own _species_." She paused for a second, tilting her head. "Actually, I'm not even a cat. I still have no clue why my body looks like this in this form…" she mumbled to herself.

A vain popped out of the Kusa kunoichi's forehead. "Shut up and die, Konoha scum!" She pulled her arm back and ran towards the azure-haired woman with the intent to kill the annoying bitch, chakra forming around her hand.

Makoto yawned again and simply grabbed the handle of her halberd, using it to flip herself up. The fist harmlessly impacted the weapon, barely causing a vibration in the stout weapon.

Silence settled upon the duo.

The catgirl was desperately trying to keep her eyes from drooping while the Kusa nin's eye twitched again. She retracted her fist and cradled it, tears flowing from her eyes. "What the hell is that thing made of!?" she exclaimed incredulously. That thing should have crumpled from the strength of her punch, dammit!

Makoto shrugged. "I have no idea. Naruto-sama made it for me, so only he knows what it's made of," she answered truthfully. Naruto _had_ created it especially for her, after he saw how proficient she was in handling large weapons like that when she had used a fallen enemy's halberd in battle long ago. She'd been using it since she was fourteen, and it was still in perfect condition. That was saying a lot, considering she was nearly fifteen hundred years old…

"'Naruto-sama', eh?" the kunoichi sneered, interrupting her thoughts. "He sounds like a fool, sending people like you into serious battles."

Makoto's blue eyes flashed golden for a brief second, causing her foe to step backwards from her killing intent. "_Nobody_ insults Naruto-sama!"

With a war cry, she lifted her massive halberd with practiced ease. Before the other woman could even blink, she was cut in half. Both parts felt to the ground convulsing.

"How's that for serious, _bitch?_" she coldly mocked the corpse, swinging her weapon and latching it onto its holster again.

A flare of chakra caught her attention, and she frowned. "Speak of the devil…" she murmured.

Without further delay, she vanished in a swirl of wind.

**

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**

On top of the Hokage's faces, fierce battle took place. The current Raikage and Tsuchikage were fighting against Naruto and Fumiko. Seemingly unnoticed by the combatants, Naruto's other bodies formed a circular perimeter, creating a dome-like structure out of pure red chakra.

That was the scene Makoto and Yamamoto arrived at.

"What the hell happened?" Yamamoto questioned Tsunade, who was closest to the duo, while he sheathed his blade.

The blonde glanced at them for a second before returning her concentration to the upkeep of her portion of the barrier. "Their techniques were getting more destructive, so Naruto flared his chakra to scare off any weak stragglers around this area."

A strong blast of wind and a shower of rocks that impacted the red barrier emphasized that statement.

"Like that," she said, unfazed by the show of destructive power.

"Ah," Makoto voiced, quickly fixing her frazzled hair.

They noticed Naruto eyeing them and nodded their heads. He nodded in return and turned back to the fight.

He then made his infamous sign, and ten Kage Bunshin came into existence, splitting into two groups and distracting the opponent Kages. Meanwhile, he formed chakra in both hands and dashed for the Raikage. Forcing the two orbs to meet, he cried out, "Odama Rasengan!"

The Raikage barely had time to jump away as the area he had just vacated was incinerated. "Phew! That one almost hit me!" he chuckled, albeit nervously, dusting himself off. Inside though, he was wondering if he had bitten off more than he could chew. If that jutsu had hit him, he would have been surely disintegrated. He knew of the legendary Rasengan and its variants of the Immortal Hokage and the Union, but he'd never seen in it action.

However, his comment made Naruto narrow his eyes and smirk. "It wasn't meant to hit you."

The Raikage was confused and afraid, and he voiced it with a simple, "Huh?"

Around the Kage, kunai with special seals on them activated, creating a pentagonal beam of light around him. "Oh shit," he mumbled.

Naruto appeared in front of him, and he couldn't lift a finger to do anything. "Rasengan."

A blue light flashed, and the Kage had a gaping hole in his chest. With his last breath, he said smugly, "A-All according to the plan…"

The blonde immortal raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

The Tsuchikage stopped in his fight with Fumiko to go through a long series of hand seals. He pushed his hand to the ground, calling out words that were highly distorted and unintelligible.

From behind him, a huge gate rose up out of the ground. "This is the end for you, Namikaze!" he screamed maniacally, plunging a kunai into his own heart.

As he dropped to the ground dead in apparent sacrifice, the gate opened, and ghostly hands came out of it. Nobody could move, because the gate itself seemed to be expelling an enormous amount of killing intent, much more so than even the original Kyubi no Yoko could.

With everybody temporarily paralyzed, the ghostly hands had no problems dragging everybody within a thirty-foot radius into their point of origin, namely the massive gothic gate.

Naruto closed his eyes as the doors closed behind the group. Around him, Yamamoto, Makoto, Fumiko, and his other bodies fainted from the intense chakra-rich atmosphere.

"Shit."

**

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**

To be continued!


	4. Chapitre Quatre

**NOTE:** This story will now be updated mostly on the weekends – that's when I have the time to write it.

Sorry for the short update, but I went through a lot of crap this past week. I'm actually amazed I wrote anything at all.

Sigh… Here's Chapitre Quatre.

[edited: 10/19/09, 4/5/10]

_Addendum 4/5/10: This chapter has always irked me with its shortness so I took the last section of Chapitre Trois to add some meat to these bones…so to speak._

**

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**

Yamamoto blearily opened his eyes. He sat up and winced. Whatever the hell happened to him, it hurt like a bitch. Taking a good look around, he noticed Makoto, Fumiko, and Naruto and the rest of the Union lying in various positions; all of them were unconscious.

They were in a forest of some sort. Perhaps they had been blown away into the forests of Konoha?

An image of a gate burned its way into his mind, and he dismissed that though. That gate or portal had taken them to somewhere else. He didn't think they were even on the Shinobi Continent anymore – there was no chakra around here.

Actually, now that he though about it, he couldn't feel his chakra anymore! Briefly, he panicked. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, and assessed the situation. Okay, one – they probably were not on the Shinobi Continent any longer. Two – they had appeared in an unknown environment. And three – there was absolutely _no chakra_, even within his own body anymore.

Instead, he felt another type of energy. It was familiar to him, but he couldn't recall ever using it before.

As he was pondering on the current dilemma, Anko awoke.

She yawned widely and scratched under her breasts. Yamamoto stared at her incredulously, wondering how a person could be so immodest, and she started back at him, uncomprehending why he was in her room at the moment. Then she looked around and her eyes shot open. "What the fuck happened!?" she screamed, causing Fumiko to twitch in her slumber.

Yamamoto shrugged helplessly. "That's what I'd like to know as well." He closed his eyes and sighed. "It seems that that gate took us away from Konoha. Actually, I highly doubt we're on the Shinobi Continent anymore. And there's no chakra here, even within our own bodies."

Anko immediately tried to find her chakra, and to her displeasure, she found that what he said was true. "How the hell did that happen?" she asked rudely, not that either of them cared. The situation did indeed call for surprise and disbelief.

Yamamoto shrugged again. "Fuck if I know. I think it's safe to assume we're in another dimension or world altogether, though."

The purple haired women frowned. "Well, what are we supposed to work with if we don't have chakra?"

"If you look again, you'll notice that there's a different kind of energy that most likely replaced our chakra in this world," he muttered to her, trying to harness said energy. "From what I can tell with my few minutes of concentration, it seems that it's energy of the spirit, rather than energy of the body and mind. I'm not too sure how that works, but if we're here for good, which I hope not, then we have to learn how to use it."

"Heh, I guess you're right," Anko allowed reluctantly. She, too, concentrated on controlling the new internal energy source while one by one, the others woke up.

Naruto was first. "Damn, what hit me?" he moaned, rubbing his head.

"I think I drank too much…" Kakashi and Tsunade whimpered at the same time, and then complained of a hangover.

Makoto and Fumiko had awoken in each others' arms, and the shriek that Fumiko had let out had awoken Makoto who in turn snuggled deeper into her arms. Yamamoto had to restrain from killing both of them for blowing out his eardrums.

Sakura merely woke up while the two masked ones just sat up calmly, slightly annoyed by the loud screeches of murder.

After calming them down, explaining the situation to them, and calming them down again, all of them were deeply engrossed in meditation. So far, the only ones to successfully harness the energy were Yamamoto and the Union, of course, thanks to Anko's initial efforts.

Unknown to them, two figures clad in black crept up to the clearing…

**

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**

A tall man in a black uniform, which consisted of a black kimono and straw sandals, whistled a little tune to himself as he approached his house. Several large fish dangled off of a stick slung over his shoulder, their slimy skin glistening in the sunlight.

Sagara Sanosuke grinned happily to himself and pushed a stray lock of brown hair out of his eyes. Oh yeah, with his catch, there was no way Kaoru could bitch at him for taking so long! His grin widened and he patted imaginary dirt off his uniform.

"Not too shabby, Sano!" he muttered to himself, enjoying his self-ego inflation.

He trailed off as one, two…no, ten! Ten immensely powerful reiatsu signatures flared up, almost as if they were out of control. "Shit!" he growled, dashing the last few feet into the house.

This was _definitely_ not good! The weakest of the signatures felt as if it was nearly a hundred times stronger than his own, which was saying something!

And it was turning out to be such a good day too, he silently bemoaned.

Sanosuke entered the kitchen and plopped his catch onto the table before searching for his friend. The most obvious place he could be was the dojo, which was the first place he searched.

Lo and behold, there he was, staring into the distance through a window. He glanced at Sanosuke and turned back to the view. "You felt it too?

The brown-haired man looked at the shorter man as if he was crazy. "Kenshin, are you kiddin' me? An untrained baby could have felt that!"

Himura Kenshin smiled wanly for a moment before he frowned in contemplation. He looked to the direction of the surges of reiatsu and murmured, "We should check it out to determine their intent."

Sanosuke looked at him warily, but knew that his redheaded friend was right. "Yeah…" What worried him was that the owners of those reiatsu had to be some seriously tough guys.

They quickly grabbed their zanpakuto, Sanosuke's being something like a much smaller version of the large zanbato he'd wielded in life, and Kenshin's being a non-descript average-looking katana, and headed out into the forest, abstaining from using their own reiatsu lest the newcomers would come at them with hostility.

Surprisingly, it took them half an hour to arrive in the general area where the signatures originated from. Sanosuke, for all his courage and machismo, tried not to shiver as they stealthily approached the clearing where they felt the residue reiatsu. He'd faced some strong guys during his lifetime, but they were nothing compared to the vibes he was feeling right now.

Jumping into a large tree, they cautiously crept closer. Kenshin pushed aside a branch so they could observe what was going on in the clearing below.

What they saw surprised them.

And made them sweatdrop.

A blue-haired woman who had a cat outfit, of all things, had a black haired man in a headlock while three blondes, two of them women, stood by. The male blonde had his face in his hands while the other two smirked at the scene.

Nearby, a dark-haired woman with piercing yellow eyes was on the ground laughing to the point of tears, while a silver-haired man with a mask that covered the bottom of his face laughed too, just not as much. Behind them, two more people with full head masks also sweatdropped at the scene.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it, Makoto-san!" the black-haired man cried out as his captor attempted to noogie his brains out of his head.

The blue-haired one, Makoto apparently, just scowled further. "You ruined my tail, Yamamoto!" She abruptly released him and cradled said appendage, which was burned almost all the way to her back, much to the two hidden ones' surprise. They'd thought it was a fake.

"My tail! My beautiful tail! It's ruined!" she whined, collapsing to the ground in a melodramatic fashion.

That had set the blonde-haired man off. "Alright, alright!" he grunted angrily. "Knock it off! We're supposed to be training!"

"Ah, man, that was a good halftime show," the yellow-eyed woman chortled, wiping a tear away.

The silver-haired man rolled his only visible eye. "At the expense of poor Yama-kun," he mused, looking at the boy in question.

Sanosuke and Kenshin's sweatdrops only increased in density, nearly threatening to tip them off balance. "Are…are these guys for real?" Sanosuke whispered in disbelief.

His redheaded companion could only nod his head numbly. He then felt something tap at his back and blinked.

"Oro?" Turning his head, Kenshin saw the yellow-eyed woman smirk mischievously at him. "Er…"

"Yo."

Sanosuke turned his head rapidly at her voice. "Eh? What the hell!?" he screamed in panic at being caught. The panic made him loose his concentration and he found himself face first in dirt a second later.

Kenshin, sensing no hostile intent from the group, whose attention was now focused on the spying duo, dropped down a second later onto his feet. Only to find himself face to face with the taller blonde woman from before.

"So you enjoyed the show too, eh?" She peered at the two after they recovered from their shock.

**

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**

Enter Rurouni Kenshin!

Constructive criticism would also be greatly appreciated. Although "Great Job!", "Can't wait for more!" and "lmao" are pretty cool too, yeah.


	5. Chapitre Cinq

Hmm…an unexpected side effect; my story's popular! Thanks for the support (reviews, favs, alerts, etc.)!

However, to Mr. (or Ms.) HolyKnight5: I never said I that they landed in the 1870s. I'm merely using the RK characters as plot devices to introduce the Naruto and OC characters into the Bleach world. I know Yamamoto is over five thousand years old by the time of the current timeline. It's fanfiction for a reason, dude; calm down and get a grip. Obviously, I'm going to explain how he ended up as the Captain-Commander – aka Sotaicho – of the Seireitei and other details like that. Just assume that Kenshin and his gang's story took place in ancient Japan. This whole fic is pretty much AU at this point anyway.

And yes, Mr. Trife, this is before the founding of Soul Society, as explained above.

Anyways, I felt bad (sorta) for Chapitre Quatre's shortness, so I wrote Chapitre Cinq. I think it's long enough for this week's fic quota. I was really just pulling ideas out of my ass with Chapitre Quatre and Rurouni Kenshin came out. Or maybe it was looking at those new redesign sketches in the kanzenbon volumes that Watsuki drew a few years back.

Actually…this whole fic is really random, now that I think of it. Ideas just keep coming to me from weird and unusual places, heh.

[edited: 10/11/09, 10/19/09, 4/5/10]

**

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**

After a round of rousing explanations, the two intruding men found themselves still dumbfounded three days later. And yet…they were telling the truth.

Kenshin was a shrewd observer of character, and he found no lie…well, almost no lie – as some of them were _rather_ boastful and exaggerated in their tales – but that was to be expected of the majority of strong warriors. Ninja, actually. Not that Kenshin had any doubts on that. There was that ninja clan he'd encountered when he was still alive. Although, these ninja were almost godlike in terms of power, compared to the ones he'd met.

While they were powerful, they certainly didn't act like that.

In fact, judging by the amount of screaming, Makoto was most likely trying to molest Fumiko again. In Kenshin's honest opinion, he felt that the blue-haired woman was both bipolar and bisexual. She loved to accentuate her curves in front of the men, competing with Anko, that scary purple-haired yellow-eyed woman, while on the other hand, the only person she loved to annoy was apparently Fumiko, Naruto's exceedingly-great-grand daughter.

And now that he thought of the blonde leader of the seemingly random group, many questions popped up in his mind. Such as the fact that demons really existed. Perhaps not in this world, but in another? A little disbelief was acceptable under the circumstances, but Naruto had dispelled that when he showed them that intense, abnormal red energy. All of them were surprised, actually. Especially the rest of the group, considering that they'd lost that 'chakra' energy of theirs.

When Sanosuke had explained what reiatsu was, and after only a few hours of practice, most of them had become even more adapt at using it, which in turn made them even stronger now that they could focus it. That alone attested to how strong they were.

Nearly mastering your reiatsu in under a year was unheard of, let alone a single day! And they weren't even shinigami, either.

But then again…none of them were normal, Kenshin thought with a slight sweatdrop.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. There were those two masked people. They hadn't uttered a single peep the whole time, he realized. One of them was a male, with a lion's face as his mask while the female person had a wolf's face.

They were part of a group called the Union, Naruto had told him, which consisted of Naruto himself, the two masked people, Kakashi, Anko, Tsunade and Sakura, a pink-haired girl who hadn't been in the clearing when Kenshin and Sanosuke had 'arrived'. They all wore the same uniform black cloak inlaid with dark orange with an orange spiral on the back. Naruto was the only exception, with his jacket open and used in a sling-like fashion for his bandaged left arm, and closed at the waist with an orange sash.

While Tsunade had told them most of the story, there were a few things still missing. Unimportant, sure, but it would be nice to get to know your allies…or potential enemies. But Kenshin sincerely doubted the latter, and dropped it from mind.

Fumiko, meanwhile had been the 127th Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato and Yamamoto, who Kenshin had shamefully forgotten about briefly, was Naruto's young apprentice. He and Fumiko were just about evenly ranked as the least powerful among the group. Even so, he knew instinctively that if he were to fight either of them one-on-one, he might not be able to win.

He paused in thought when he stepped to the side as Sanosuke grinded to a halt after being pushed back, a shit-eating grin on his face at finding a good fight. Across from the former fight merchant, Kakashi closed his single visible eye to give the impression of smiling.

"You're good! You're really good! I haven't had a fight this good in a long time!" Sanosuke exclaimed, tearing off his sleeve to match the other torn one.

The red-haired man was hard-pressed to not release a groan.

Every person they'd met in the afterlife had been scared off by the man's love for fighting. Hell, he was the reason why they lived in the forest instead of one of the little towns that had sprung up in recent years.

"Hey, Kenshin-san," Naruto called over to him, catching his attention.

"Naruto-san," he acknowledged back.

The blonde jogged to him and asked, "You said you're shinigami, yeah?" Kenshin nodded the affirmative. "Are there more of you, then?"

Kenshin nodded again and spoke. "We are shinigami, or have become a part of the shinigami force. Not many do so, but it is necessary."

Naruto frowned. "Yeah, I got that, but what is it that you do, exactly?"

The short man sighed. "In the human world, which is not where we are right now, spirits can become either pluses or minuses. Sano and I are pluses, as you can see. Minuses, on the other hand…" He trailed off and looked towards the sky. "When spirits are burdened with strong negative emotions, or are emotionally attached to a location, their emotions can corrupt them into becoming spiritual creatures called hollows."

"I take it that these hollows are a threat?" Naruto asked rhetorically, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed.

Kenshin frowned. "Yes. Hollows are a serious threat because when they are 'born', so to speak, they are drawn to eat humans in order to fill the void in their hearts. We shinigami have made it our duty to stop them from eating humans."

"Hmm… I see." Naruto scratched his chin in thought. "So are they just mindless beasts, or do they retain their memories?"

"They tend to lose their memories. When spirits become hollows, all they know is that they must eat human souls. It is their one driving instincts. The other instinct is to become stronger."

"Do you just kill them or what?"

"No, we don't. Zanpakuto, our blades, are used to send them here without their memories as hollows or humans. Basically, we purify their spirits," Kenshin answered.

Naruto noticed something then. "And what are these 'Zanpakuto'? I sensed that they weren't regular swords."

Kenshin allowed himself to smirk, which looked a little out of character on him. "They are a part of a shinigami's soul."

That comment caught Naruto off guard. "Eh? What do you mean they're a part of your soul?" he asked confusedly.

"A shinigami, or even somebody with enough spiritual power, can manifest an aspect of their soul. That aspect separates and becomes a Zanpakuto. Although, if a shinigami dies, their Zanpakuto remains behind and calls out for a new master, even if he or she already has a Zanpakuto of their own."

"Oh, I see," Naruto muttered, nodding. "So they're pretty much sentient weapons. How does that work, though?"

Kenshin unsheathed his sword and brought it up. "They work as any normal sword would. However, every Zanpakuto is different, with a few exceptions every once in a while. Each of them have special abilities which amplify your own. There is a second form of the sword called 'Shikai' that can only be accessed by learning your Zanpakuto's name. And you cannot jus simply pick out a name, because each Zanpakuto already have their own names, and they can only be attained after mediation and being in harmony with ones Zanpakuto."

"You have to learn their names?" Anko whined, dropping down from the tree she'd been using to unnecessarily eavesdrop on them. "That sounds so _weak_!"

Kenshin smirked again, and Naruto decided that it looked unnatural on the kindly man's face. "Anatano ha tono tate no keppaku…Hitokiri Battosai!" he declared, stepping back a little bit.

Before their eyes, his plain katana glowed brightly and reformed.

In his hands, Kenshin now held a wider blade about six inches across, but it stayed the same length of four feet. The handle had turned into a long dark purple pole which extended out by a foot. The funny thing was, the curved part of the blade was blunt. Not even that, it was solid; there was no blade on the side whatsoever, almost like it was the back of the blade. Instead, the sharpened edge was on the reverse side of it.

"This is my Shikai," he announced a bit smugly, amused more than anything at the two's awed expressions.

Anko whistled appreciatively while Naruto was itching to reach out to the cool-looking sword. "Damn, that thing looks kick-ass. But why is it reversed?" she asked curiously. A blade that big and deadly with a reversed edge was a little strange, but definitely not the weirdest thing she'd ever seen.

The woman started to think she said the wrong thing when Kenshin's face fell and he sighed wistfully. "When I was alive," he started sadly, "I worked for a government. It was my duty to crush a rebellion that sprung up, and I killed many people. Since then, I have sworn an oath never to kill, even in the afterlife."

Anko decided it wasn't her place to make a comment, and Naruto patted his shoulder understandingly, to which Kenshin flashed a grateful smile.

"So that's Shikai, eh?" Anko said, thankfully breaking the tension.

Kenshin nodded, immediately resuming up his lecturing tone while dispelling his Shikai. "Yes, this is the first advanced form of a Zanpakuto."

"First? So there are more forms then?"

"Only two are available, Shikai and Bankai. Shikai unlocks your Zanpakuto's abilities, augmenting your power with its own, letting you use unique attacks. Bankai, however, is substantially more powerful. Achieving Bankai, I've heard, increases your power five to ten times," he revealed to their surprise. "With the power you hold now, you and the others would be akin to real gods. I find myself sympathetic to those who might earn your wrath," he said amusedly.

Anko snorted crudely at that. "I hardly think that anybody could defeat us at our level, but it never hurts to be prepared. And this Bankai, I take it, has a catch or two, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Bankai takes many years to earn. I myself have been a shinigami for some three hundred years, and I haven't achieved Bankai yet. Neither has Sano-kun over there." He gestured over to his best friend who was now fighting Makoto and her huge halberd-type weapon. "Bankai is also draining on reiatsu reserves, but I'm more than positive that that will be no problem for you and the others."

"Hell yeah!" Anko crowed, preening at the praise.

Naruto rolled his eyes and continued the conversation. "So, have you ever seen a Bankai before?"

"There hasn't been a Bankai user in over five hundred years, so no, sadly. It would be interesting to see such a feat, though."

"I agree with you there," Naruto mused. If Kenshin's earlier statement about Bankai's augmenting factor was true, then he really would be godlike at that point, if he wasn't already. He was the current Kyubi no Yoko after all. His chakra might not work in this world, but he still had the two sources of energy in him. They were merely converted into reiatsu, as Kenshin had said.

Since that gate had pretty much killed them on the way here, they were beings of pure spiritual energy anyway, which explained why they had no chakra. Chakra was energy of the body and mind. Now that they were deceased, they technically had no body or mind because they were souls. Reiatsu, on the other hand, was pure spiritual energy. Naruto guessed that because they had vast amounts of energy of the body while they were alive, said energy was converted into spiritual energy.

…truthfully, he had no idea how the system worked. But if they were here to stay, they might as well get used to using reiatsu. And also look into manifesting Zanpakuto of their own.

He snapped his fingers suddenly, and the rest of the Union came forth, Fumiko, Makoto and Yamamoto lagging behind by a second with Sanosuke out cold on Makoto's shoulder.

"Alrighty, team, today's goal is to attempt to manifest Zanpakuto of our own," he announced cheerfully, much to Kenshin's surprise. "So we're going to take a break from training for now, and meditate to try to seek it out. And since three of you aren't part of the Union, I'll have Kenshin-san explain it to you."

"Oro?"

Anko nudged the red-haired man in the ribs lightly and whispered, "Just tell them what you told us before."

"Er…" He cleared his throat and repeated his description to the three non-Union members.

"So we're going to attempt to manifest these 'Zanpakuto' from within our souls?" Yamamoto asked curiously once Kenshin had finished. To him, the whole concept sounded pretty exciting. Once he managed to manifest his, there would be so much potential with the weapon!

To Kenshin's surprise again, it was Tsunade who answered him. "Yup. The only way to do that, like Kenshin-kun here said is to meditate." A lot of them groaned, Anko in particular, despite the fact that she had known beforehand. "Now go pick out a spot and start."

In a few minutes, the entire clearing was quiet, with Kenshin calmly sitting at the base of a tree, observing the meditating ninja.

They actually looked peaceful for once, just sitting or lying down on the grass (or what was left of it from Sanosuke's fights with them). Nobody was cursing or yelling; it was actually quite nice. And there was no distractions whatsoever…

"Dammit! What the hell hit me!?"

…or not.

Sanosuke had awoken, cursing up a storm. The ruckus caused Makoto to snap out of her self-induced trance. When she saw that it was Sanosuke making all the noise, she threw a boulder from who knows where at his head.

Needless to say, he dodged rather quickly. And in doing so, knocked himself out again when he bashed his head against a tree.

Kenshin couldn't help but laugh out loud at the sight, which unfortunately earned him the ire of several of the shinobi.

He, too, found himself seeing stars as his face hit the ground, courtesy of several substantially smaller rocks.

**

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**

If some of what I wrote sounds contradictory to the other chapters, than you should know that most of this chapter is from Kenshin's POV.

I would have put Fumiko's numerical position in Japanese, but I didn't think that 'Hyakunijunanadaime', which was the translation I got, sounded cool.

And I figured that Kenshin's shikai had to be ironic, considering his no-kill outlook on life.

Anatano ha tono tate no keppaku – Shield innocence with your blade.

If you don't like it, then give me some suggestions and I'll change it in a later update. He also seems OOC because he's been dead a long time. That's my excuse. Well, that and it feels weird writing how he usually talks and acts.

I think I might just keep the RK people as supporting cast, unless I get bunch of protests, of course.

**Next chapter:** The group gets their Zanpakuto!

As always, constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Although "Great Job!", "Can't wait for more!" and "lmao" are pretty cool too, yeah.


	6. Chapitre Six

Holy shit, three consecutive updates! Damn, I'm on a roll here. But then again, I have, like, absolutely nothing to with my three-day weekend so…

I highly doubt I'm going to be able to update frequently like this, though, so enjoy it while it lasts. I might update tomorrow, but if not, then next weekend.

Also, I changed Kenshin's release command in Chapitre Cinq to a more appropriate one.

Now…

SpeeDemon: Like I said last chapter, just pretend that Kenshin's story took place in ancient Japan, with obvious AU elements. And with how the afterlife is currently in the story, I'm pretty much just BSing right now, but in a slightly more sophisticated way. Who knows how it was before Soul Society was formed? I have no idea, so I'm just assuming that there were just little villages and towns before; the predecessors to the Rukongai.

Trife: Er… I think I'm going to do a time skip in a chapter or two. I'm far too lazy to detail their progress, but there'll be flashbacks and others. So you can expect the founding to be in a few chapters, yeah. For now, I'm just focusing on their Zanpakuto.

Moving on…in this Chapitre, Naruto and Yamamoto's Zanpakuto are contacted. Plus the revelation of Naruto's last two bodies!

[edited: 10/19/09, 4/5/10]

**XxXxX**

"Okay, this is weird…" Yamamoto muttered.

Internally, he retracted that statement. This was beyond weird. In fact, though he had spent most of his life so far in that time-dilation seal with just Naruto, he rated this as breaking out of his weird-shit-o-meter.

Once he was pulled deeper into his meditative trance, he had entered some freaky backwards world. It would have looked nice, as it was a pleasant little forest, but the color was inverted. Everything green was colored red, and brown had become black, so it looked like something out of those horror comics he'd come across shortly after coming out of that seal before leaving for Konoha.

And the sky was just flat out creepy. It seemed to be nighttime in this mental world, but instead of a moon, there was a giant wide-open eye that seemed to be constantly watching him.

Damn, he didn't even have any mental issues and this is what his inner world looked like? Maybe he really was messed up on some internal level.

"Shit, I think I have issues if this place looks like this…" he muttered, glancing around.

"Not exactly," somebody said from behind him. "But I don't mind it. It's actually quite interesting here."

Yamamoto gave no reaction. He merely sighed and tilted his head to the side. He spotted a large, majestic-looking red bird that seemed to be on fired. The flames didn't harm it, but instead, they seemed to wrap around it and create intricate designs that lasted for a few seconds.

"You're the manifestation of my Zanpakuto, I take it?" he asked rhetorically, fully turning to face the creature.

"That is correct," the bird answered in an amused tone. It hopped off the branch it was perching on and swooped down to hover in front of him.

Yamamoto eyed the avian intently. "So your element, if Kenshin-san was speaking the truth about types, is fire, then."

The bird dipped its head. "That is correct, yes. I am now your Zanpakuto." It tilted its head slightly and appeared to smirk, if a bird could smirk. "And I feel you are ready to fight me to earn my name."

"Huh? Your name?"

Without warning, the bird opened its beak and flames accumulated in it quickly before it was projected at the man.

"What the hell!?" Yamamoto cried, ducking and rolling into an offensive stance. In his hands, he grasped a sword he had never seen before. It was a standard-looking katana with a royal purple hilt and a circular hand guard. "Eh? Where'd this come from?"

"That's me," the bird answered calmly. "That is to say, the sword is my manifestation in the physical world. Now that I am yours, it can appear outside and in here as well. Now, focus!" With that, it threw another fireball at its wielder.

"Oh man, the first thing my own Zanpakuto does is attack me. Friggin' great," Yamamoto groused to himself as he dodged yet another fireball. He brought his sword up to block and was surprised to find that the sword cut the ball in half.

"I'm terribly afraid that you'll have to do better than that!" his Zanpakuto crowed mockingly, beating its wings.

Yamamoto scowled and jumped up, trying to slash at the creature.

"I wonder if Naruto-sama is having this much trouble?" he mused as the avian evaded the attack and opened its beak again.

**XxXxX**

Naruto was falling.

He had no idea as to why he was falling, but that was moot at this point.

It felt like he'd been in freefall for hours, so he took out a certain orange book and decided to read it.

It was a legacy of his best teacher, which made it all the more special. It was actually extremely well written, he'd discovered when he was twenty. The plot was dynamic and had a nice flow to it, and the dialogue was excellent. The sex-scenes, while intense, were far from mindless with the participants having deep emotional attachments with each other. No wonder the original Kakashi had worshipped the book.

Thoughts about the book fled his mind as he abruptly landed on his ass at practically mach one speeds.

"Ow! Son of a…" he groaned and he popped his rear out of the self-made hole in the ground. Patting himself off, he mumbled something underneath his breath and sighed as he stuck the book back into the folds of his cloak.

Naruto looked up to observe his surroundings and he quirked an eyebrow in mild surprise. "Somehow, this doesn't shock me," he said aloud.

Below him, the original Konoha lay sprawled out in the ancient format of his time. Apparently, he'd landed on his mind's depiction of the past Hokages' faces. Naruto smiled slightly when he saw his father and pseudo-grandmother's faces, along with Sarutobi-jiji.

He jumped down from the mountain and landed lightly on his feet at its base. There were no people, of course, but he thought that his other selves would have been in here with him.

After walking aimlessly through the village, letting its familiar scenery wash upon him, he spotted his favorite ramen stand and smiled in reminiscence as he walked into it and reclined on one of the stools.

"Damn, I missed this place," he muttered wistfully.

"We know," two voices said from behind him.

Naruto whipped around to see two very familiar figures. Or at least they looked familiar to him.

"What the…" His eyes widened. "You're my Zanpakuto, aren't you?"

The two nodded as one. "Yes we are, Naruto-kun." They smiled sadly at him.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" the female one asked.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "'A while'? You look familiar, but…" He paused and studied them intently. "I don't think I've ever seen you before."

The male chuckled. "Why, Naruto-kun, I'm offended. You use our bodies every day and you don't remember us? Perhaps if we separated, then you'd recall us."

In the blink of an eye, two became six, and Naruto's eyes widened again and he gaped in shock. "W-what!?"

Standing in front of him were the original inhabitants of his six other bodies. Tsunade, Kakashi, Anko, Sakura…and then the other two.

Smiling sadly at him with tears in her eyes, the woman gave him a hug.

"I've missed talking to you, Naruto-kun…" she mumbled from his shoulder, the others watching with warm smiles.

"H-Hinata…" Naruto choked out a sob, wrapping his arms tightly around her slender body. "I've missed you…so much…"

She reluctantly released him and looked into his eyes. "You don't have to feel guilty about using my body, Naruto-kun."

Naruto weakly smiled. "I know, but…I feel guilty for just possessing it…not in that way!" he quickly shouted, a blush creeping on his face.

The other spirits laughed at his statement, much to Naruto's further embarrassment.

Tsunade shook her head and grinned. "Nah, gaki, don't bother with guilt. We all know it wasn't your fault."

"But…!" Naruto weakly protested.

Hinata shushed him with a finger against his lips and shook her head.

"Yeah, all that guilt stuff is crap anyway. I'd kick your ass if it _was_ your fault in the first place!" Anko crowed, pumping her fist in the air.

The only other man besides Kakashi and Naruto added his opinion. "Yes, Uzumaki, so you should have no qualms about your 'technique' as you call it."

Naruto laughed, wiping tears as he patted the man affectionately on the shoulder. "Gaara, only you would say that."

Gaara merely smiled in his usually way with a quirk of his lips.

Kakashi spoke up then. "I also like how you 'developed' alternate personalities based on us. It's rather interesting, actually," he mused to himself.

Naruto frowned. "It was the only way to cope once I saw you guys die…" He looked at them. "Which reminds me…why are you guys in my head anyway?"

Sakura, who'd been quiet, answered him with a slight grimace. "When we…died…your soul expanded itself and anchored our souls to you. We've been with you ever since then."

Tsunade tapped her chin. "That might be the reason why our former bodies have such similar personalities to ours, when you created them."

Anko grinned cheekily. "Yeah, but nothing can beat the original Mitarashi Anko!" she exclaimed.

Hinata giggled at her antics and turned back to Naruto. "Exactly," the purple-eyed woman murmured. "So you have no need to feel sorrow, Naruto-kun."

Naruto sighed before grinning at them. "Alright then. You guys changed my mind…but when we met a few minutes ago, what was that?" he asked inquisitively.

All of them eyed each other. "Well…in becoming part of your soul, our own souls have become…incomplete, in a way."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Tsunade frowned. "Well, I lied before. When you created those personalities, we sent part of our souls to the bodies to help you cope with our loss. So in becoming split in two, we were left incomplete. But not enough to become hollows, like Kenshin-san explained."

The current Kyubi nodded slightly as the picture became clearer to him. "Oh. I see. So in becoming separated, your souls were drawn to complete their selves, so you all merged into one being. Or two beings, actually. Why is that?"

Kakashi eye-smiled at him. "Well, you wouldn't want me to become part girl, would you, Naruto-kun?" he teased creepily.

The rest of them shuddered in revulsion, even Gaara. "No! Definitely not!" Naruto all but shouted, crossing his arms for effect.

After they settled down again, he continued. "So, it's like yin and yang then? Male and female? That's why you become two separate beings instead of becoming one?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Sakura admitted, scratching her cheek.

"And in becoming part of my soul, you guys are now my Zanpakuto?" he asked.

Hinata nodded her head. "Yes. So we can always be here for you, Naruto-kun."

He grinned at them all. "Damn, this is cool. But if there are two of you, when merged to form my Zanpakuto, does that mean I have two different Zanpakuto?"

"Yep," Anko smirked. "That should be no trouble for _you_, Immortal Hokage."

Naruto laughed. "Hey, can you just merge on a whim? I mean, like, can you do it automatically?"

Instead of speaking, the six were once again replaced by two, answering his question.

Now that he had a closer look at them, the woman was somehow a perfect conglomeration of all four kunoichi. She had light purple hair with pink highlights, but her bangs were Tsunade's blonde color which looked good on her for some reason. Her eyes were azure blue, the same color as his, yet reflected Hinata's presence with the lack of pupils. Her face and much of her body resembled Anko and Tsunade's, with the Jonin's lithe form, and the Godaime Hokage's large breasts. Her clothing was…provocative, to say the least, which told of Anko's influence. They consisted of a fishnet undershirt – with no bra underneath – and a blue low cut, long sleeved shirt over it. She also wore a short dark blue skirt with black skin-tight leggings underneath, and standard open-toed sandals.

The man, on the other hand, had a much more tame appearance, having less people to merge with. He looked more like Kakashi, with that damn mask still on, but his hair was mainly red with silver highlights and his single visible eye was green, making an interesting effect. His clothes reflected Gaara's influence, though, with black pants and a shirt with Kakashi's vest on top. Gaara's gourd was also present, strapped around his shoulder.

"How's this, Naruto-kun?" the woman asked mischievously, tilting her hips and pushing her breasts out.

Naruto scoffed playfully. "I've been alive two thousand years. Like that's gonna effect me…" he trailed off. "I don't even know your names, do I?"

He noticed both of them falter slightly at his comment. "No, you don't," the man said.

The female sighed and pouted. "The normal way to learn our names is to defeat us and prove your worth." She perked up. "But there's no need to harm our Naru-kun!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around the blonde.

Naruto sweatdropped heavily. The female Zanpakuto seemed to have Hinata's extreme dedication to him, Anko's…more questionable quirks, most likely Tsunade's insightfulness and leadership, and hopefully Sakura's calmer side. If the male Zanpakuto turned out to be anything like Kakashi, or even Gaara, he knew there would be some interesting times ahead for him.

Speaking of which, the man coughed into his hand and deadpanned, "I'm pretty sure that we don't need to kill Naruto-kun with your breasts."

She giggled and released him, to his slight relief. "So," he started, "Are you going to tell me your names then?

The man nodded and the woman pumped her fist in the air, echoing Anko just a few moments ago. "Absolutely!"

"Our names are…"

**XxXxX**

Give me some suggestions for names, people; I suck at names!

In fact, here's a carrot – review or PM me some suggestions and I'll do my best to post another update ASAP. Make sure they're Japanese, or at least Spanish, though, to fit with the Bleach theme. You can suggest release commands, too, if you'd like.

But anyway, I hope you guys liked this Chapitre.

It was going to be hard as hell to write another six people into the fic, so I had them merge into two to simplify things and make it interesting. I also have no idea what Ryujin Jakka's manifestation looks or acts like, so I figured a level-headed phoenix would do the trick.

I know Hinata and Gaara are a little cliché, but Hinata is one of my favorite characters. HinaNaru FTW! Not that there'll be any romance in this fic, considering that I suck at writing sappy scenes. And Gaara just kicks ass with his sand, plain and simple. I got one review suggesting Inuzuka Hana and Sai a while back, and I considered it. But I'm not familiar enough with either character to write anything with them, sadly.

**Next chapter**: Naruto's two Zanpakuto revealed!

And as always, constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Although "Great Job!", "Update soon!" and "lmao" are pretty cool too, yeah.


	7. Chapitre Sept

Damn, I was supposed to update a few days ago and I forgot I had a _crap-ton_ of tests this week at school. But anyways, moving on…!

Since I only received about three suggestions, I decided 'fuck it, I'll make up my own names'. Then I realized how fucking _hard_ it is to do that when I finished like two hours later. Damn translators are _definitely_ not accurate. I need to learn me some Japanese, man.

I almost took Jimbobob5536's suggestions, but I felt that they didn't fit the Zanpakuto's personalities. Sorry, dude. I saw sniper757's review, and I thought to myself: "Hmm… It just might work." Although, 'nightshade' didn't come out right in Japanese, so I was unfortunately forced to scrap it. Then Outkast000 reviewed and gave some interesting suggestions.

Mainly, I used the latter two reviewers' ideas for the male Zanpakuto while I came up with an original one for the female. Although Outkast000's male name gave me some other interesting ideas for techniques for the guy as well.

So after two long hours of typing, translating, scrapping, retyping, and retranslating, all the while dealing with shitty translators and a crap ton of various dictionaries, I finally settled on two names, which will be announced in this Chapitre.

If you end up not liking 'em, all I can say is: _fuck you_. It was a pain in the ass to put together their names, so there's no way in hell I'm changing them. I wanted them to be at least 95% accurate in Romaji, which is why I took so friggin' long in the first place.

[edited: 10/19/09]

**

* * *

**

Not even moments after slipping into a trance, Anko – the aspect of Naruto's personality, not the soul – opened her eyes and sat up, frowning slightly. Looking around, she saw that her other selves were doing the same.

The yellow-eyed woman sighed and shook her head. They should have known that only Naruto himself could have contacted their Zanpakuto. But all the same, it was worth a shot, considering that they were still new to this shinigami stuff.

Although, it was a little strange that they didn't share their main body's experience, she mused, glancing at where the blonde lay peacefully.

Anko got up and patted the dirt off of her rear. She made her way over to where that redheaded shinigami they'd met two days earlier was resting from those rocks they'd thrown at him. She felt a little bad, though, for he had been nothing but helpful, unlike his unconscious moronic friend who loved to fight.

"You feeling okay, Ken-chan?" she teased playfully as she plopped down next to him, adopting her usual playful persona.

Kenshin weakly glared at her, then sighed. "That I am," he replied, rubbing his skull slightly. "Is there something you need, Anko-san?"

Anko merely shrugged in response. "Nah, not really. Mainly, I'm just really bored right now. I didn't get that Zanpaku-thingie."

The redhead started in surprise. "You didn't manage to contact your Zanpakuto? I would have thought that somebody as strong as you would have managed to do so!"

"The others didn't either," she retorted evenly, gesturing to the rest of the Union, sans Naruto, who was currently still in meditation.

Kenshin scrutinized her intently, which Anko easily dismissed. "There's something you are not telling me," he muttered, still eyeing her suspiciously.

He didn't waver when she yawned, used to such responses from her by now. "Yare, yare, you're quite the inquisitive one, aren't you, Ken-chan?" she laughed, shifting away from the bark poking into her back. Anko sobered up and looked the shinigami straight in the eye. "Do you really want to know?" Her voice took on a serious tone.

He nodded. She beckoned him to come closer, and he leaned in. "Well, it's…a secret!"

Kenshin facefaulted.

"Ororo!? That's mean, Anko-san!" he cried, sitting up instantly.

Anko stuck her tongue out in reply, only to grimace as she bit down on it as a fist hit her head.

Both of them looked up to see Tsunade and Kakashi smirking, or in the latter's case, giving an eye-smile, down at them.

The blonde, who had been the one to bop her counterpart on the head, grinned. "Don't be like that, Anko-chan. We might as well tell him, since he's bound to figure it out sooner or later anyway."

Anko pouted and sighed. "Alright, fine. I was gonna tell him anyway – you know that."

Kenshin just blinked, slightly confused at the happenings.

A little over an hour later, he was a little less confused when the full explanation of what the Union really was. Before, Tsunade had skimmed over their group in her initial explanation. But now, after Anko had told him the facts, it made more sense.

"…so that's why you couldn't access your Zanpakuto, then. Since you are only a part of Naruto-san, that means, and I mean no offense, that you aren't really truly alive, in a way," the redhead concluded after putting the pieces together.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "What, you're just okay with it just like that?" he inquired dryly, somewhat put out by the lack of surprise.

Kenshin shook his head. "Somehow, it does not really surprise me."

Of course, as soon as he said that, a blue blur crashed into him, knocking him into a tree and right next to Sanosuke. "Oro!?"

The blue blur, which so happened to be Makoto, whined, "Fumiko-chan! That was mean! I just suggested that we could 'meditate' with each other"

Across the clearing, Fumiko had her fist raised. It was highly obvious that she was irritated, as there was a huge vain popping out of her forehead. "Stay the fuck away from me, you nympho!"

Anko whistled, impressed by the feat. "Wow, Mako-chan's really intent on getting what she wants, eh?" she said slyly, nudging Kakashi in the side.

Tsunade rolled her eyes at their antics. "I'm so glad she's not a part of us," she muttered.

A huge blast of the energy called reiatsu caught all of attention, and unintentionally awoke Sanosuke up and revived Kenshin, who shakily grasped his Zanpakuto.

"W-What the hell is this!?" Sanosuke cried, having been forced to one knee at the intense spiritual pressure.

The Union remained largely unaffected, but instead, they looked as one to the source of the explosion of power.

Naruto, who had been sitting, was now standing up. His eyes were still closed, but his reiatsu literally flowed over his body, twisting and turning in a chaotic semi-sphere that surrounded him.

Kenshin uncharacteristically smirked again. "It seems that Naruto-san has attained his Zanpakuto."

And he was correct.

A beautiful blue hilt made its way into Naruto's left hand, and the hand guard looked like a cherry blossom flower. The blade itself was thin and long, maybe about four feet long.

The current Kyubi's eyes shot open, and in a forceful voice he declared, "Gekitai!"

Kenshin's own eyes widened, uncomprehending as to how the man had achieved his Shikai not even moments after reaching his Zanpakuto.

The sword glowed just as Kenshin's had, and it transformed before their eyes. The hilt remained unchanged, but the blade was now a huge wicked looking spike of azure blue crystal about six feet long, if their sense of perception was right.

"Kessho Bengosha no Tsurugi."

He said it quietly, but even with the wind blowing all around them from his reiatsu, they still heard him.

Sanosuke gaped in awe, while Kenshin looked on, highly impressed. He was not alone in that feeling, as the rest of the Union and their companions were whispering about how intense and cool the sword looked.

But he was not done yet, as a second hilt materialized in his right hand, this one being a light brown-beige color with a plain blade.

Doing the same with this Zanpakuto, he declared, "Chiri ni funsai!"

The Shikai transformation activated, and it glowed brightly before settling down again.

Now in his right hand, he held another wicked weapon. This one was long light brown scythe with five blades forming a claw-like semi-sphere formation at the end of the shaft. Another noticeable thing was that the weapon seemed to have _sand_, of all things, somehow orbiting around it in thick clusters.

"Areno no Tsume," he said solemnly.

Then his reiatsu faded, and his two swords reverted back to their sealed states.

For a moment, there was silence.

"…I'd hate to be the stupid-ass who ticks him off," Sanosuke boldly stated, shivering at the thought of being on the receiving end of those two Zanpakuto.

Around him, the others quietly agreed.

Nobody noticed poor Yamamoto still sitting in his spot, twitching slightly.

**

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**

…and that's all I got. Sorry it's a little short.

I was gonna include Yamamoto's fight, but that never happened.

So here's the two Zanpakuto:

Female: Kessho Bengosha no Tsurugi - Crystal Sword of the Defender  
Shikai Release: Gekitai - Repel (the enemy)

Male: Areno no Tsume - Claw of the Desert  
Shikai Release: Chiri ni funsai - Pulverize them to dust

The female one is going to be based on one of the new Naruto filler characters that seemed interesting to me; one of Orochimaru's subordinates named Guren. She utilizes a pseudo bloodline-limit called Shoton, aka Crystal Release, which looked pretty damn wicked, so I'm trying to incorporate that into the weapon somehow.

You can find the info here – http : // naruto . wikia . com / wiki / Guren (Obviously, just delete the spaces.)

The male Zanpakuto is, of course, going to be heavily based on Gaara and Kakashi's techniques. That's going to be interesting. If my crappy description of it confused you, think of something like Nnoitra's Santa Teresa (when Nel was Tres/Tercera) but with four more blades, forming a half-sphere, and looking like Shukaku's claw.

And as always, constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Although "Great Job!", "Update soon!" and "lmao" are pretty cool too, yeah.


	8. Chapitre Huit

w00t! Chapitre Huit!

But first!

The Last Rising Of The Phoenix: The Union won't get their original souls back, and won't pass on, because (as explained in a previous chapter) their souls have semi-merged with Naruto's soul, and have become his Zanpakuto.

To everybody else (because I'm sleepy as hell): Thanks for the support!

**

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**

Yamamoto panted heavily as he collapsed against an ashen tree. He had no idea a bird could move so swiftly! But then again, it was no ordinary bird. He winced as he rubbed his now-useless left arm, which had been hit with one of those damned fireballs. He had managed to dodge most of it, but it had clipped a nerve cluster, rendering his limb temporarily numb.

"Damn it!" he ground out, his mind racing with ideas and semi-plausible strategies on how to defeat his Zanpakuto.

The sound of wings flapping from somewhere above caused him to stiffen. "Come, now, Yama-chan," the creature mocked. "Don't be afraid, it's just me! A lil' old birdie who wants to play!"

The black-haired man was highly tempted to just go on an all-out blitz and decapitate the accursed thing, but getting angry now would get him nowhere with his plight. He growled, but calmed himself and tried to come up with a plan.

It hit him suddenly, like a brick wall.

"Oh man," he groaned in exasperation. "How the hell could I have forgotten that!?"

It was simple, really. Just because it was his mind didn't mean that he couldn't use his shinobi techniques, did it? Yamamoto smacked his face, annoyed with himself for not realizing such an important, yet simple, fact sooner that could have saved much time.

Scowling, he broke cover to head for the area where he had first entered the inverted world of his mind. As expected, the phoenix swooped in from his position in the sky, energy already pulsing from its beak. The orb shot off quickly, and hit Yamamoto, who was unprepared for it.

Until he burst into a cloud of smoke, which dissipated to reveal a log.

The phoenix narrowed its eyes. "Well, well! I didn't think you were smart enough to figure it out, Yama-chan," it sneered, pausing in mid-flight.

Nimbly, it rolled to the side as it evaded a potential swing that could have taken off its wing. It opened its beak to speak again, only to be forced to avoid a barrage of kunai.

Trilling loudly, it cried, "Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking!"

"If you don't want me to interrupt you, then you should just shut the hell up!" Yamamoto coldly retorted, stepping out onto a tree branch.

The bird cackled, a sound that grated on the man's nerves. Growling, he bolted towards the bird, his sword in front on him.

His Zanpakuto clicked its tongue. "Now haven't you learned by now? That'll get you nowhere," it advised, curving to the left.

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow. "Really now?" he drawled smugly.

The avian swiveled its head to see another Yamamoto coming him. Only, this one had a pure blue orb of energy charged in his hand.

"RASENAGAN!" he screamed, pumping his attack at his Zanpakuto.

A huge plume of smoke obscured the whole field.

When it cleared, only Yamamoto stood.

Across from him, the cheeky phoenix lay in a battered state, with most of his feathers either ruffled or missing.

Yamamoto sighed in relief and sheathed his blade. He paused, however, when he heard a small noise. Turning to the bird, he was irked to notice that it was still laughing.

Its laughter grew louder and louder, and then became full-blown howling. After a few minutes, it calmed down into a light chuckle, but without the mocking undertone to it.

"So you managed to actually best me, eh?" it mused, hopping to its feet.

Yamamoto scowled. "Just go off and die somewhere. I have worse things to deal with than a crazy bird." He turned and walked away.

The bird laughed again, and the last thing he heard was, "Oh, _you're_ cool! But since you _did_ defeat me, my name is…"

**

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**

Fumiko and Makoto, who were engaged in another 'wrestling' match, were startled when Yamamoto, who they had inadvertently rolled next to, abruptly stood up.

"Bansho issai kaijin to nase, Ryujin Jakka!" he shouted, a long katana with a dark purple hilt coming into existence in his palm.

When he raised the blade skyward, a torrent of flames erupted and came out from the tip of the sword like a whip. Said whip waved around uncontrollably, creating a few fires here and there that luckily blew out from his reiatsu.

In the semi-trance he was in, he never notice how close he came to burning the two women's hair off.

"YAMAMOTO!" they shouted in tandem, auras blazing with righteous anger.

That apparently snapped him out of it, as his Shikai disappeared and he blinked. "Oh, hello," he greeted calmly. He blinked and stared at the duo, who were covered with light burn markings. "What happened to you two?"

Sharing a silent look, they stalked forward, intent on giving their favorite punching bag a taste of hell. Nearby, the Union paused in their training to watch the entertainment. The four unmasked shinobi cast a brief contemplative glance at Naruto before resuming their watch of the fight.

Meanwhile, Kenshin was sitting next to Naruto, dispassionately observing the one-sided fight. "He seems to always get into situations such as these," the redhead noted, sipping at his tea.

Naruto snorted and took a gulp of his own tea, immune to the heat due to his overexposure to ramen. "Well, what can I say? Between the time we 'died', I guess you could say, and now, he's only had a few days of social interaction."

Kenshin nodded solemnly, having heard that part of the story. "Too true."

The blonde chuckled. "You know, he may not look it, but I think he'd be a good leader someday."

Kenshin allowed himself an out of character smirk. "Really? I'm sorry, Naruto-san, but he might not even manage to survive those two," he teased lightly.

He faltered when Naruto stared at him hard. "…you really need to stop doing that, Kenshin-san. It looks and _sounds_ weird coming from you."

The redhead sweatdropped. "Oro?"

Sanosuke announced his arrival then by bopping his friend on the head. "Yeah, Kenshin, seriously, what the hell happened to you?" he mocked playfully.

Kenshin's sweatdrop increased. "...is it so wrong for me to act a little out of character once in a while?" he whined, out of character.

Naruto's cough caught their attention. "Anyway… What was that plan you were telling me about before all these interruptions?"

Sanosuke looked at Kenshin suspiciously. "You told him, huh?"

The man nodded back soberly. "Yes. I feel that Naruto-san is the only chance we have in order to implement it."

The former fight merchant eyed Naruto, who smiled back in a friendly manner. Deciding to see things through, he sat himself down in a huff. "Better not be lying…" he muttered.

"Alright, now that things are settled down," Naruto started, pointedly ignoring the torture session proceeding in the background. "What was it called again?"

Kenshin met Sanosuke's eyes, and the brown-haired man nodded with a minor amount of hesitation.

"The place in mind is to be called 'Soul Society'…"

**

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**

And the plot thickens.

I suck at fight scenes, so hopefully that was good enough.

Yamamoto's Zanpakuto is purely canon (cuz "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"), except for its mental manifestation:

Bansho issai kaijin to nase, Ryujin Jakka – Reduce all creation to ash, Flowing Flame Blade

**Next Chapter**: Time skip! _You_ decide how long – anywhere from 100 to 1000 years, as long as it's before the founding of the Shinigami Academy.

And as always, constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Although "Great Job!", "Update soon!" and "lmao" are pretty cool too, yeah.


	9. Chapitre Neuf, Part Un

Chapitre Neuf (Part Un)

**

* * *

**

Kenshin sighed wistfully, taking a slow and deliberate sip of his fresh hot tea. It was at times like this that he was glad to have met Naruto and his "crew". Without them, the formation of Soul Society would have never been realized. He leaned against the balcony he was on and smiled to himself. Below him was the sprawling architecture of Soul Society, with many shinigami - both new and veteran alike - roaming about in the paved streets.

Considering how large and complex the shinigami fortress was, Kenshin was semi-surprised it had taken Naruto only half a century, if even, to construct the entire city by himself - with the aid of several thousand Kage-Bunshin course. After Naruto had seen Sanosuke's…"blueprints", for a lack of a better word, he had immediately laughed his ass off and burned the mockery, much to the former fight merchant's horror and everyone else's amusement.

Getting people to come and become shinigami was the tricky part, as most spirits were expecting either Heaven or Hell, or even Purgatory. Suffice to say, they were quite disillusioned when they were met by Naruto or Kenshin on the human plane. If either Fumiko or Makoto or, Kami forbid, both of them came to greet a weary soul…

"Seven hundred and fifty years…what a long time," Kenshin remarked to himself in an attempt to put that last thought out of mind. He turned his sights back on the city. "So peaceful…"

Right then, Murphy's Law reared its ugly head and Kenshin was subsequently kicked in the face by a fleeing Fumiko and a pursuing Makoto.

"ORORORO!"

"GET THE _FUCK_ AWAY FROM ME, YOU WHORE!"

"COME BACK AND BE PUNISHED LIKE THE BAD GIRL YOU ARE! YOUR MISTRESS _COMMANDS_ IT!"

"_OVER MY DEAD BODY!_ JUST YOU WAIT TILL NARUTO-JII COMES BACK!"

As their voices faded away into the distance, Kenshin sat up and pouted when he saw his upturned cup. "Well, it _was_ peaceful…"

Shaking his head, Kenshin cleaned up the spill and entered the building through the balcony door.

A few minutes later found the redhead walking calmly through the Captain's Quarters.

Ah, yes, the Captains…that was an interesting system. (Although, for some strange reason, everything in Soul Society was a mix of English and Japanese, and as result they were also known as "taicho".)

When Kenshin and Sanosuke had come up with the initial plans for Soul Society, they had unfortunately not considered the possibility of having more than two hundred or so shinigami. But when Naruto had come along - all seven of him - he had revised those plans hundredfold. Before, everything had been vigilante-style with each shinigami acting independently or in small rag-tag groups.

With the new plans, a system had been implemented that divided the shinigami into thirteen separate divisions, collectively called the Gotei 13, with each division being specialized in certain skills. For instance, Kenshin was the captain of 11th Division, which specialized mainly in swordsmanship. A number of people within his division had taken to calling him "Kenpachi", however, after one of his seated officers jokingly claimed that he should have a 'badass title for being such a badass swordsman'.

Several of Naruto's other selves had actually gotten hold of various Captain Seats. Tsunade was 4th Division Captain, which meant that the whole division was dedicated to the medical profession, though they were also known to handle supplies every now and then. Anko was the 2nd Division's head, which she focused on stealth tactics and detaining unruly shinigami. In short, it was a police force with a black ops section. Sakura had taken over the 12th Division as well while Kakashi had somehow managed to end up as 8th Division's Captain. Naruto, of course, was at the head of everything with 1st Division, since he was the one who came up with the damn system in the first place. Yamamoto meanwhile had managed to secure the Lieutenant's seat for 1st Division.

(The other Captains were strong, dependable, and likeable people, but Kenshin was not as close to them as he was with the others for obvious reasons.)

There only three ways that you could reach the Captain's position, as established by Naruto (since he had no desire to have the Gotei 13 run by a bunch of weak idiots). There was a proficiency test, though it required the ability to perform Bankai. The second was being personally recommended by at least half of the Captains and getting approval from at least three more. The last would be the hardest by far - defeat the Captain with at least two hundred witnesses (for political purposes). Most went for the Bankai test, with the sole exception of the Union, considering that only Naruto could use a Zanpakuto. The others merely used customized swords with special seals placed on them that granted special skills similar to a Shikai or Bankai…

His train of thought was immediately derailed when a mischievous voice whispered lustfully into his ear, "Guess who?"

Simultaneously, he felt a slender hand slip into his uniform pants and right over his underwear.

Kenshin's face lit up like a red light bulb. "M-M-Makoto-san!" he stuttered, turning his head slightly. He gulped when he saw her azure eyes sparkle.

"I'm so sorry about before, Kenny-kun," she moaned in his ear. "Oh, just what has gotten into dear Fumi-chan lately?" She gave his junk a playful squeeze through the fabric before retreating the invading hand.

The redhead quickly regained his composure with a hint of a blush on his face. "Er…was there something you needed, Makoto-san?"

Her faced quick sobered up, and she bore a grim frown. "Yes…yes there is…"

**

* * *

**

Immortality was vastly overrated. Naruto could tell you that much.

Orochimaru was a fool to even consider achieving it.

By achieving immortality, full immortality, one could have arguably mastered time. But even then, time was merely a human concept. The world cared not what happened to you; it would merely continue its long-standing cycle of creation – life, death, and rebirth. What achievements anyone accomplished held no meaning if nobody was left to appreciate them. Naruto himself had learned that the hard way when the first five Hokage had long since been forgotten. Tsunade was discounted from that because all her public appearances in their "world" had been under a mask.

And that was another thing Naruto found himself wondering about. He had, over the years, hypothesized that there obviously were other "worlds", as evidenced by summoning creatures such as Gamabunta and Gamakichi and that annoying snake Manda, but he personally never expected to become a new resident of another "world".

Although, to be truthful, this was much, much different than a summons "world". Technically, summons "worlds" were on another plane of reality altogether. Also, in simple terms, summonses were merely sentient forms of energy channeled into a physical form. This "world" that he, his other selves, and Makoto and Fumiko had quite literally been dragged into was definitely not; while it was distinctively separate from the human, or 'living' section of the realm, it was not another plane of existence…barely. It was something like a castle with a rather large moat to keep it isolated. The only way to the human world was through a closely observed gate.

Being that they were stuck in this "world", with little to no chance of returning to their former "world", they had indeed made the most of it.

With that last thought in mind, Naruto gazed upon one of his greatest creations…the Soul Society.

Building it had been the easy part.

Recruiting people…had taken the better part of a century and a half. There were many rogue Shinigami groups that had seemed suspicious of their group and the city that had been put together over the span of fifty years. Obviously it took a great deal of negotiations, trade-offs and other trivial tasks before most of those rogue Shinigami had finally agreed to join Soul Society.

This had the single negative impact of creating a council called the Central 46; 46 because that had been how many major groups joined up. Their leaders had been annoying as hell, to say the least, so with the creation of the Central 46, their only fighting would be with words and a majority vote. Naruto saw the need for a council, but after the shit the council back in his time put him through, he wasn't about to be all buddy-buddy with those assholes.

"That reminds me…" Naruto muttered, clenching his fists.

He felt his lung being crushed suddenly, his arms pinned down to his sides.

Dimly, he thought he was being attacked or held down by one of the shinigami kido techniques, but instead…

It turned out to be a little girl, roughly nine years of age with tanned skin and long purple hair. Hugging him. Really hard.

"Oooh," he chuckled weakly, slightly woozy now due to lack of oxygen. "Not so hard, Yoru-chan!"

He reached around and swung her around his torso, letting her bottom rest on his arms. He was met with the crying visage of the heir of the Shihoin Clan, Yoruichi. While a prestigious Shinigami family – regarded by most as nobles, in face – they wanted no part of the Central 46, and were, in fact, close friends with Naruto's group. The Clan leaders' young daughter thought of him as her own grandfather.

"Naru-oyaji!" Yoruichi wailed, "I don't want them ta send you away!" She buried her face into his shoulder, her own shoulders being wracked by sobs.

Naruto was confused for a second before figuring her father had let it spill that he was to be exiled. He hadn't even told Yamamoto, though he was sure the man would be pissed.

"Maa, maa, Yoru-chan," he soothed, rubbing her back reassuringly. "There's no need to cry for my sake. C'mon, let me see your pretty face," Naruto whispered playfully and scratched her behind her ear, knowing it was a sensitive spot of hers.

Yoruichi stiffened but let out a sort of giggle/sob. "Naru-oyaaaajiiiii!" she whined this time, leaning back and pouting. Between the combined power of her pout and her remnant tears, Naruto was hard pressed not to clutch his heart and go 'HNNNNNNGGGGG!' at the cuteness factor, which rated 9.7.

He kept his little weakness to all things cute stifled and instead grinned at his pseudo-granddaughter. "There's the cute little girl I know!" he praised, then proceeded to tickle her weak spots – namely under her arms.

She giggled cutely until he stopped. "Naruto-oyaji!" she whined again. "You're trying to…to…dis…tact? You're trying to distact me!" Naruto merely continued to grin at her, especially at her mispronunciation of the word 'distract'.

Naruto sighed and moved to the edge of the clearing they were in. He stopped at a cliff overlooking Soul Society and sat down, pulling Yoruichi onto his lap.

"Yoru-chan…" he started. She shifted her head to look at him, her wide yellow eyes soaking in his appearance. "They're going to send me away, right?"

She nodded vigorously, a cute little scowl upon her features. "They can't send you away, Naru-oyaji! They can't…"

He squeezed her slightly, causing her to squeak softly. "There's nothing we can do about it, Yoru-chan. In fact, I want them to send me away."

Yoruichi's eyes widened. Her lower lip trembled slightly. "B-But Naru-oyaji…why?"

Naruto knew that she felt betrayed by his admission, but he continued on. "Because…Soul Society doesn't need me anymore, Yoru-chan."

The young Shihoin princess sniffled and embraced the blonde's torso, quiet sobs reaching his ears. "I need you, Naru-oyaji!" she cried.

"I know you do, Yoruichi, I really do. But you can't rely on me forever," Naruto said softly, stroking her head as she continued to dry her tears on his shirt. "And when I'm gone, I need you…to be strong. Become a strong Shinigami, Yoruichi. Not for me, but for yourself. Show them your own power. Can you do that?"

Yoruichi nodded into his chest, her crying beginning to cease. He eased her away from him then, a small smile on his face.

"But before I leave…there's something I want to show you…your favorite animal is the cat, right?"

She nodded again, wiping her eyes before looking at him curiously.

"I'm going to show you a cool technique called the Henge no Jutsu…"

**

* * *

**

The current head of the Shihoin clan, Shihoin Sakumo smiled thinly as he saw his close friend carrying his only child fast asleep in his arms. Naruto flashed him a grin and nodded to him and the guards as he continued to Yoruichi's room.

On one hand, it was always cute to see the two of them together. Given that Sakumo had little free time, dealing with clan formalities and the like, he couldn't spend any free time with his daughter. And it always pained him that she would never meet her mother, but that pain had been dulled a long time ago. But at least she had Naruto as a role model, along with her friends, young Urahara Kisuke and Tsukabishi Tessai. The latter two had lived at his mansion for several years, after Naruto had rescued them from a hollow on the outskirts of the Rukongai. He would also be grateful to the two children for spending time with his Yoruichi, even if they did manage to cause mischief most of the time.

On the other hand, he knew that this was likely the last time he would see Naruto. Indeed, he felt saddened by the Central 46's decision…and at the same time, immensely angered. Those ignorant fools were dismissing him as a growing threat, and wanted him exiled. Naruto was the kindest person you would ever meet. Barring that, if you annoyed him enough, then you be subjected to one of his many pranks. And if you unlucky enough to anger him…well, one of more prominent Shinigami clans had harshly insulted him in some way – Sakumo hadn't heard the full details, but it was apparently something of a coup d'état attempt as well – and they were immediately reduced to a mere thirty members; mainly women, children and what innocent men there were.

But he had done nothing to warrant exile. No, those fools only wanted more power to themselves. At least they were smart enough to not declare an execution. That would have guaranteed an all-out rebellion amongst Soul Society, considering that Naruto was one of, if not _the_ most highly regarded people in all of Soul Society.

"Maa, maa, Sakumo-kun. There's no need to get angry," Naruto's voice chided from behind him, cutting off the growl growing in his throat.

The Shihoin lord turned around and took in his friend's appearance. Naruto looked nothing like a man who was about to be facing a court with his own exile as the topic of the trial. He was clad in standard shinigami bottoms; black hakama, white tabi and the normal waraji. Instead of the regular top, he had on a simple orange shirt with black stripes on the sleeves. Over that he wore his favorite orange-lined Akatsuki-style long coat, but it was tied at his waist with an orange sash. The top part was off, leaving it hanging from his waist, revealing his left arm, which was constantly clad in unstained white bandages.

Add in the fact that he was grinning widely, eyes screwed shut, and had his hands carelessly folded behind his head, he looked nothing like a man walking to meet his destiny.

"Nyeh? Something wrong?" Naruto asked, still grinning.

Sakumo stared for several seconds. "No, it's nothing, Naruto-sama," he sighed wistfully, shaking his head. No matter how much time he spent with the man, Sakumo could never figure him out.

Naruto's grin twitched. "How many times have I told you guys to call me just plain ol' 'Naruto'?" he asked exasperatedly, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Many, many times," was the reply of a straight-faced Sakumo. Inwardly, he was laughing at Naruto's less than serious dilemma. Nobody ever called him just 'Naruto' without the –sama suffix, with the exception of small children such as Yoruichi and close family members like Fumiko. But mainly, he was glad that Naruto had caught on to his anger and diffused it with humor. He had an uncanny ability to do that.

Naruto flashed him a knowing look, but continued on his tirade. "I can never get a break! It's always '–sama' with you guys! Jeez…" he exclaimed, pouting childishly.

The tell-tale sound of shunpo, or the flash-step technique, interrupted them at that point.

And with it came an angry Yamamoto. "Naruto-sama! What the hell!" he screeched. Rather like a mother hen, Sakumo mused to himself.

Nervous perspiration made its way down Naruto's face while Sakumo and the nearby Shihoin guards looked on in bemusement.

"Yamamoto-kun, I didn't do anything to the Academy! I swear! It was Mako-chan!" Naruto pleaded with his student.

That gave Yamamoto a moment to pause. "…I don't want to know," he said flatly. "What I mean is; why didn't you tell me, dammit!"

"Oh, that." In the blink of an eye, Naruto was back to his cheery self, causing Sakumo to roll his eyes. "Because…actually, I don't know," Naruto replied honestly, giving a shrug.

Yamamoto's eye twitched in irritation. "You could've at least told me yourself. Instead, _Makoto_, of all people, told me," he scowled, shivering slightly at the memory.

At that, Sakumo and all of the guards winced simultaneously. Makoto was…interesting, to say the least. She was worse than Anko at times, and Anko was about as psychopathic as they came.

Naruto interjected then, become serious. "You cannot come with me, though, Yamamoto-kun." He truly looked sorry at that fact, but stern in his decision all the same.

Yamamoto huffed and crossed his arms, but nodded nonetheless. "I figured you would say that. What do you need me to do?" he inquired softly.

The blonde immortal regained his sunny disposition once again. "Ah, that's simple!" he grinned, holding a hand up in a v-for-victory pose, the other on his hip.

"You're going to be the next Sotaicho!"

…

…

"…what?"


	10. Chapitre Neuf, Part Deux

Chapitre Neuf (Part Deux)

**

* * *

**

Silently, the group gazed on; entranced, as it was.

Sakumo was the first one to break the silence.

"_This_ is that surprise that Makoto, er, 'had' you, Sano and Fumiko…working on…_all yesterday_…for him?" he asked dubiously of Kenshin.

The redhead only nodded glumly, his eyebrow twitching slightly.

"Dear Kami-sama… T-This…" Naruto stuttered softly, catching everyone's attention. "This is…!"

Before them, the group beheld a giant basin carved out of rock and superheated to prevent cracks and to remove bacteria. The basin itself was roughly a mile wide and half as much deep. Thick, yellow liquid was the contents of the giant basin, long wisps of steam billowing out every now and then. Through the liquid, one could make out the shapes of various plant-life. On a much closer observation, however, it would appear to be exceedingly long strands of what appeared to be wavy noodles.

Indeed, it was the world's largest bowl of ramen. Ever.

Much to the surprise of his friends – not so much the surprise to his other bodies – Namikaze Naruto fell to his knees and cried at the beauty of the sight before him.

"Naru-oyaji!" Yoruichi squealed worriedly, rushing from under Sakumo to her pseudo-grandfather. When he failed to respond, she resorted to poking him repeatedly.

Kenshin eyed him a little strangely. "…Naruto-sama?" he inquired.

Yamamoto just muttered darkly under his breath, still understandably upset at his impromptu promotion notice one day prior.

Tsunade twitched slightly at the mental feedback from Naruto and roughly crossed her arms under her chest, causing Sanosuke, Kenshin, Yamamoto, Gaara and Sakumo to look away while Kakashi discreetly ogled his female counterpart. "Don't worry about him, he's fine. I thought you guys knew he loves ramen?" Despite herself, she found that she, too, was eying the Lake o' Ramen a tad hungrily.

Anko and Makoto merely looked at each other, grinned, then immediately stripped themselves naked. "RAMEN SKINNY DIPPING!" the duo screamed deliriously, cannonballing into the Lake.

Sakura sighed and Hinata gently rubbed the bridge of her nose while Fumiko slumped to the ground, praying to Kami-sama in relief that Makoto wasn't trying to actively rape her at the moment.

The men sans Naruto quickly averted their gazes lest they nosebleed into the broth and earn Naruto's wrath.

It all went downhill, unfortunately, when Sanosuke snorted and shook his head in disgust. "If I never had to see another drop of ramen in my life, I would be so happy. That stuff sucks."

Kenshin and Sakumo paled dramatically. "Sano, you idiot!" they hissed in tandem.

Naruto turned his head at the thoughtless comment so fast, poor Yoruichi squawked when she nearly flew off her new seat on top of said head.

"_WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY?"_

Nobody spoke for several minutes.

The only ambient sounds were from Anko and Makoto off in the distance, happily splashing about naked in the sea of LCL…er, ramen.

Naruto gently plucked the purple-haired one off of his head, shooed her off towards the others, and then promptly resumed being properly outraged.

"You…You…YOU _DARE_ SPEAK _BLASPHEMY_ AGAINST THE HOLY FOOD?" Naruto spluttered/roared indignantly, causing Sanosuke to flinch.

Yoruichi giggled, peeking out from halfway behind Tsunade. "Oooooh, you're in twouble~!" she sang, much to his consternation.

Tsunade, easily the only level-headed member of the group (Union or otherwise), rolled her eyes in exasperation at her main body. "Okay, people, move it," she muttered, picking up Yoruichi and ushering the other stragglers away from the slaughter.

**

* * *

**

Retsu Unohana was a young Shinigami of around one hundred and fifty years. She was a pretty woman, moderately tall and athletic with a rather expansive bosom. Her long black hair and alluring dark eyes only added to her charm.

However, her classmates Kyoraku Shunsui and Ukitake Jushiro could attest to her near legendary temper. It also did not help things that her own master, one Senju Tsunade, was also known for her fiery temper.

She had taken up the woman's offer to be an apprentice medic, and thus had to learn to curb her temper down when dealing with idiots who refused to _lay down and heal_. And yes, if you'd noticed, that _was_ a double entendre.

Unfortunately in this case, Unohana was dealing with idiots who refused to _sit down and wait patiently_.

One of the Central 46 councilmen roared aloud, yet again, "Where is Namikaze? He was assigned to be here several hours ago!"

She successfully resisted the urge to drown herself. Barely. She briefly wondered why Tsunade-sama had chosen her to represent the Sotaicho's party, but instead, delicately replied, "I'm sure he was merely…delayed…by some unforeseen circumstances."

Another councilman immediately rejected her reasoning. "Bah, he's the Sotaicho! He needs no excuse, I'm sure he's just being lazy – as _usual_."

They were already exiling him, and that had the nerve to badmouth him behind his back? Unohana was hard pressed to reign in her anger again. Namikaze Naruto was one of the few people she actually respected, and – dare she say it – actually had a _crush_ on. How could she not? He was the perfect gentleman, with a great sense of humor, was also a courageous role-model Shinigami…and he was so totally smokin' hot.

And she could not believe she just thought that. Even if it _was_ true.

Before she could argue with her subconscious mind, an explosion rocked the chamber.

An all-too familiar voice sounded out, and despite the anger the voice held, Unohana couldn't hold back the slight blush that sprang to her face at the sound. She was suddenly very grateful for the resultant smokescreen.

Her attention was then caught by the two dueling combatants that had appeared before her.

"SANOSUKE! DIE!" Naruto raged, a reiatsu Rasengan formed in one hand, a Zanpakuto in the other.

"I-I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Sanosuke begged, his Shinigami uniform badly torn up.

The begging actually made Naruto's reaction worse. "SAVE IT, YOU HEATHEN! I WON'T LISTEN TO ANY MORE OF YOUR LIES!"

"Namikaze!" another faceless councilmember cried out. "What is the meaning of this!"

Like a switch, Naruto grinned cheerily at them despite the fact that he held Sanosuke by his throat and had Kessho Bengosha no Tsurugi pressed deeply against the man's cheek.

"Maa, maa, it's nothing, really. Just a lil' tussle between me and Sano-kun here," he explained brightly, pulling Sanosuke's neck up slightly for emphasis.

"Ano…Naruto-sama…?" Unohana called out shyly.

Naruto turned his head to her, his face a mask of confusion. It made for a rather comical effect, as he was still holding the former fight merchant's neck.

"Eh? Unohana-chan? What're you doing here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um…Tsunade-sama asked me to r-represent you," she responded softly, a slight blush gracing her cheeks again.

Naruto raised another eyebrow. "Ah, okay…thank you, then." Unaware of her crush, he shot her a sunny smile that made her feel a little weak in the knees. "Now where was I…?"

He raised his Zanpakuto only for a hand that wasn't his to grasp it from behind.

The blonde tilted his head back to see Tsunade frowning at him. "Naruto," she growled, increasing the pressure on the sword.

He rolled his eyes. "I was only trying to kill him a little. Jeez." He released the brown-haired man who then massaged his throat and shot the blonde woman a grateful look. Unohana giggled at his antics, catching Tsunade's attention. She waved her apprentice over while attending to Sanosuke.

"Anyway, sorry I was late councilmen!" Naruto exclaimed brightly, dusting off the dirt on his favorite cloak.

The Central 46, sufficiently disturbed by the casual display of violence, were now officially convinced that the blonde immortal had to go, and A.S.A.F.P.

"Right. Namikaze, seriously, just get the fuck out of here," one of them said tiredly, making a 'shoo, go away' motion.

If anything, that just made the former Sotaicho's grin even wider, which in turn caused Unohana to nearly swoon in her place and Tsunade to roll her own eyes.

"On it, boss-man~!"

And so, that was the great and epic start to Namikaze Naruto's long exile. Going out with a bang.

He had to deal with a crying Yoruichi - complete with puppy-dog eyes, rating 9.7 once again on the cuteness scale – and an irate group of friends (and his star-struck new admirer Unohana) for pulling a stupid stunt like that at first, however.

After settling them down, he left his other selves in the Seireitei…for now, at least. Since they were him, and he was them, by all means it would be like he never left in the first place. In his oh so honest opinion, anyway. Makoto would be covertly leaving a few weeks after him, once the fallout settled down. Then one by one, his other bodies would 'retire' later on, so to speak.

Tsunade already had a good replacement in 'young' Unohana-chan, so she was good to go as it was. The others were…not as fortunate. Some potential candidates were Unohana-chan's friends, Jushiro and Shunsui, so he had taken Yamamoto aside and told him to disguise himself as a creepy old man – as a joke, but it was taken seriously ("WHY?" the boy had demanded – Naruto then gave some lame excuse that he needed to be disguised and he'd bought it like an idiot) for some odd reason – and offer to train them. He had a good laugh at his ex-pupil's expense, though.

Mainly, he was worried about Yoruichi. But at least she had Kisuke and Tessai, along with a recent addition to their crew; a new soul around their age by the name of Kurosaki Isshin.

Many were teary-eyed, but he left with a promise to send some mail every now and then once he settled down somewhere. And with that, he was gone.

**

* * *

**

A/N: Please excuse the stream of consciousness style of this chapter (of the whole story, really) and the shortness. I've had a _REALLY_ loooong week, what with my mother's birthday, her surprise party, being dragged to the beach, and then having said mother pretty much clean out my room without my knowledge. Sheesh…

Anyways Chapitre Dix I have planned out to be a montage of Naruto's exploits in the human world.

Also, thanks for the reviews, faves, alerts, etc. Please be sure to do so again! I'd really appreciate it.


	11. Chapitre Dix

Chapitre Dix

**

* * *

**

In El Reino de Aragón, or the Kingdom of Aragon, people rarely traveled after nightfall, in fear of running afoul of bandits or slavers and the like. The regular citizens usually locked up their houses not long before the moon rose. Even the King would only send out men at night who were fleet of foot, and who knew where they were going.

Tonight, though, was an odd night.

A solitary figure, draped in a tattered gray cloak that covered its face, stumbled through a forest.

Not far behind it came the sounds of a stampede and shouts of indignant anger.

The person was panting heavily from exhaustion, having been running for so long. Placing a hand against a tree, the figure tilted its head down. Sweat dripped down from within the folds of its cloak, only to be swallowed up by the dark shadows created by the trees.

Shaking its head, the figure continued on, the gray cloak billowing in its wake.

After what seemed like hours of more running and losing its pursuers, the person came across a campsite.

It quickly darted behind a bush when it heard some rustling nearby. Peeking over its hiding place, it sighed in relief when it noticed that the occupant of the site was asleep.

Then it gasped.

"_Maestro?"_ it asked softly in a feminine, disbelieving voice.

Delicate hands pushed back the hood of the cloak to reveal a beautiful, tanned face framed by long, sandy yellow locks of hair. Oddly, there was a bone white mask covering the bottom half of her face, in the shape of the jaw of a shark. Curious emerald eyes reflected the campfire as the woman took in the sleeping man who looked so much like her master…

The man who she had just killed…even if purely by accident.

Silently, tears poured from her eyes as she shakily reached a hand towards this man.

She was suitably surprised when the man's hand reached out and pulled her towards him.

She squeaked in protest as his muscular arms encircled her frame.

She blushed morbidly when he put his head on her shoulder from behind.

She fainted dead away when she felt his _third leg_ as he continued to press her body against his.

And for his part, Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto slept on, woefully ignorant of this new dilemma, dreaming of his much younger days…

**

* * *

**

**Flashback**

**

* * *

**

Naruto screamed loudly, whirling his arms while trying to stabilize himself and extinguish the flames on himself, as the resultant explosion of his latest seal experiment propelled him skywards.

Several pairs of eyes dully followed his fiery flight path before two of those pairs lit up and turned to look at each other.

"Damn," said the body of Senju Tsunade as she frowned at the body of Mitarashi Anko. "This still feels weird, after all these years."

Anko shook her head and replied, "Yeah, you'd think I'd get used to it by now…"

The two looked at their companions' dead expressions and sighed. "Well, there's no helping it now. The best I can hope for is to just go with the flow," Tsunade muttered.

"So what, just leave them here?" Anko asked, gesturing towards the others.

"I'm…still not used to them being like that. At least I got used to these two," the blonde woman sighed, pointing towards herself and her 'awake' companion. "Besides, I already know that even without taking control of them, they can handle themselves in a fight."

Anko sighed as well. "Well, alright. I was just feeling guilty." She suddenly smirked. "Besides, I'm really hurting at the moment, so I suppose I should leave now," she added haughtily.

Tsunade barked out a laugh. "I know me too well. Come on, let's go."

They bounded off into the trees, making their way towards Naruto.

When they found him, he was badly burnt, somewhat mutilated from the large explosion, and completely unconscious and barely clothed.

"I'm going to kill myself one of these days," Tsunade muttered, clicking her tongue in annoyance as she pushed up her sleeves and began to heal the blonde man.

Anko rolled her eyes. "From myself or from one of my other bodies?" she asked sarcastically.

"Oh hush," Tsunade chided, not taking her eyes away from Naruto.

Anko pouted at her nonchalance, but relented and leaned against a tree while she watched her counterpart work on their main body. "Why did I wake up this body anyway?" she grumbled.

"Because I wanted to talk to myself," the blonde woman shot back with a straight face.

The snake woman giggled. "Liar."

"…why are you so fucking loud…?" a voice interrupted tiredly.

Both women looked down and see that Naruto was awake; thanks to his own immortality and Tsunade's healing techniques speeding things up, he was nearly fully recovered with little burns left and a slightly pinkish tinge to his skin. Still, he looked rather weary and his eyes were narrowed and bloodshot.

Anko stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm loud because I feel like it."

Naruto shook his head in exasperation, and then winced at the slight pain the motion caused. "Kami-sama, why am I arguing with myself?"

Tsunade chuckled. "Because that's how I am," she responded, answering for all three of them.

The neo-Kyuubi sighed. "Well, at any rate, the time-dilation seal project is still a no-go for now. That explosion speaks for itself when I say that won't touch it again until further research."

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Anko scolded, a hand on her hip. "A little explosion every now and then is good for you."

In return, she received two deadpan stares. "How the hell are we the same person?"

She shrugged. "…whatever."

Naruto groaned as he rolled to his feet. "Moving on… That damned explosion probably attracted every ninja within a five mile radius. Anko, grab the other bodies and meet us at Point Thirteen," he instructed, leaning against Tsunade's slightly taller form.

"Right," Anko acknowledged, and leapt away to the previous area.

Tsunade moved him onto her back as they too leapt away.

They were halfway to the safe house designated as Point Thirteen, when, typical of their luck, a humungous blast of chakra detonated not more than eighty yards away. It was not even close enough to compare to Naruto's near infinite stores, but it was still a cause for worry.

With an unspoken agreement, they veered off course and headed straight for it.

And when they arrived at the site of the chakra detonation, it was not pretty.

A large crater thirty feet across and likely the same deep was the main attraction of a newly formed, and still smoking, clearing.

But that was not what held their interest. It was the massive creature that lay in a pool of its own oddly blue blood, down at the bottom of the crater.

"What the fuck?" Naruto exclaimed, hopping off his counterpart's back to closer examine the scene. He jumped down, unmindful of any threat the creature would pose, even in a mortally wounded state.

Tsunade sighed and silently followed him.

It was in a state of quiet awe that Naruto observed the creature in.

"I…I didn't think that any were still alive…" he mumbled, reaching out a hand to touch it.

The thing's eyes snapped open and it weakly raised its head and roared in a last act of defiance.

"Hey, woah, chill!" Naruto yelled out, falling to the side as its tail, torn up as it was, lashed out at him. He raised his hands up in a sign a peace.

Apparently, the creature understood him and ceased, but it still eyed him warily.

"Calm down, both of you," Tsunade chided. She raised an eyebrow when both Naruto and the creature pouted at her, but pushed it out of mind. "If you'd let me examine you, perhaps I can heal you," she offered to the beast.

Surprisingly, it shook its head slightly, almost sadly.

It looked to Naruto, who met its gaze steadily.

After a full minute, it seemed to nod. Then it rolled over slightly, revealing the item that it had protecting the whole time.

"A…an egg?" The blonde immortals gaped in disbelief.

With increasingly sluggish movements, it nudged the giant egg in Naruto's direction.

Solemnly, he met its eyes again. "Are you sure?" he asked seriously.

It gave another tired nod.

"Then I will raise it to the best of my abilities," he stated, gently picking up the large egg.

One last time, it gave an appraising look to the two before it just…deflated.

At that, the duo knew it was dead. Turning to each other, they went back on course, bringing the mysterious egg with them.

**

* * *

**

While they were still connected to Anko, she wasn't too happy on being left out of the loop.

"You leave me to deal with these zombies and you come across _A FUCKING DRAGON EGG!"_

Naruto was unfazed, however. "Hey, it wasn't my fault. Random occurrence and all that," he explained with a yawn.

A vain pulsed on the woman's forehead but she said nothing to respond to that. Instead, she turned and pouted, crossing her arms.

"On the up side, I think you've already become a separate aspect," he tossed out absently, tilting the egg slightly on the table.

Both Anko and Tsunade, who had just come in from the kitchen, stared at him. "What? Really?" they both asked, surprised.

"Yeah. You're already acting more independent from me, despite the fact that we have the connection," he explained, now placing an ear onto the egg.

Anko grinned. "Well, now, that's some interesting news…"

Tsunade frowned. "Just don't let it go to your head, baka."

"Hum," Naruto said, smiling, and set the egg down on the floor. "It's about to hatch."

"Eh?"

They turned to the egg, and saw a slight bulge on the sides. A small cracking sound occurred and suddenly, a claw shot through the shell. This gave the baby dragon the foothold it needed to break out of the egg. With that, it crawled out of its birth shell.

It was about the size of a large dog, and azure blue in color with matching eyes.

Blinking, it scanned the room and locked eyes with Naruto.

Then it jumped on him.

Laughing, the blonde picked it up off of his chest and whirled it around, spinning.

Looking at his other two selves, he grinned and said, "This one's a keeper! She's gonna be a strong one, I can tell."

"It's a girl?" Anko asked dubiously, glancing at the thing snuggling into the man's arms.

"Yup!" he admitted happily. Looking back into the dragon's eyes, he nodded.

"I think I'll name you…"

**

* * *

**

**Flashback End**

**

* * *

**

"…Makoto!" Naruto gasped, lurching forward from his bedroll. He blinked and shook his head. "Wow, that was a _looong_ time ago…"

He looked up and noted that the sun had risen and his campfire still burned brightly.

Sighing, he laid back down.

"What the hell?"

Rolling away, he stood up and saw the intruder in his bedroll. It was a blonde, tanned woman, maybe about twenty years of age, curled up underneath a tattered gray cloak. What really struck him was the hollow mask that was on her face.

"Huh? A hollow? What the hell is a hollow doing here?" He peered at her more closely. "A Vasto Lorde at that! Wow!" He scratched the back of his neck as he continued to stare at her. "Well…I think it's safe to say she's not here to kill me…I doubt she even knows what she is right now." He chuckled dryly.

Moving to start making breakfast, he made one last comment to himself.

"I wonder why she ended up in bed with me…"

**

* * *

**

**A/N**: Not exactly what I was aiming for, but then again I'm kinda busy nowadays earning my keep around the house; summer cleaning and all that jazz, plus I'm working on another story project called Code Evangelion.


	12. Chapitre Onze

Hatake Kakashi nonchalantly dodged to the left as a gaping maw attempted to bite him in half. He had a bored expression on his face as he raised a leg and kicked the offending hollow's mask in, causing it to disintegrate into spirit particles.

"Shunsui-kun," he called with a tone to match his expression, "You let another one go."

His wayward fukutaicho, Kyoraku Shunsui, scowled as sweat dripped down his face. He had a foot pressed against a particularly large and angry adjuchas and both hands on his Zanpakuto while he was trying not to be eaten himself.

"I'm a little BUSY here, Taicho!" he growled out, forcing the hollow back with his foot. The force of the kick made it stumble backwards, which allowed Shunsui to slash its mask with a quick downward strike.

He didn't get a chance to sigh in relief as another hollow clawed at his shoulder, but he rolled under its arm and with another quick movement, it was gone as well.

Kakashi sighed and took out his own 'Zanpakuto'. "I guess I have to do everything myself."

It didn't seem like the man moved at first, but all of a sudden the rest of the hollows surrounding them roared like a flock of angry bees as the entire area was soon bathed in more spirit particles.

Shunsui sagged to the ground, plopping onto his back. "Damn it," he wheezed, "I hate work. I hate hollows. I hate you, Kakashi-taicho."

The silver-haired man sauntered up to his partner cockily. "Maa, I love you too, Shunsui-kun," he smirked from under his mask.

Shunsui replied by flipping him off.

**

* * *

**

Chapitre Onze: aka, The Montage Chapter

**

* * *

**

Behind the 12th Division's headquarters was a large, grassy field with training posts grouped here in there, scattered about the sizable expanse. Bisecting it directly through the middle was a small, calm river that continued onwards, into the 13th Division's territory. Over it, right in the middle of the field, was a low wooden bridge. Most shinigami in the Division tended to jump over the stream, but there were a select few that tended to take walks, with said bridge as one of their destinations.

One such shinigami that liked to stop by the bridge was Haruno Sakura.

She listlessly swung her bare feet as she sat on the edge of the bridge, her toes just grazing the surface of the water. If there was one thing that she disliked about being a shinigami, no, about being immortal in general, it was boredom. Her other selves held no qualms about living forever, but she, in particular, was feeling a bit…empty lately. Her friends and other selves kept themselves busy with their own hobbies, such as repeatedly trying to rape Namikaze Fumiko in Makoto's case, or tea ceremonies in Kenshin's, but she never really got into those things.

Ever since Naruto had rescinded his orders and told them to remain in Soul Society for 'a bit longer', which of course mean another few hundred years, there was nothing that had managed to peak her curiosity. Well, there was the – admittedly beautiful – Vasto Lorde that had snuck into Naruto's camp last night, but that was with him, not her. Well, considering that they were virtually the same person, she supposed that she, too, was dealing with that; it just wasn't happening to this particular body.

The pink-headed vassal sighed disparagingly, the act displacing several long strands of her bubblegum colored hair. She leaned forward and positioned her elbows on top of her calves so she could rest her chin on her knuckles. Underneath her breath, she sang mockingly, "I'm bored, bored, booooored… Boredy, boredy, booooorreeedd… Bored, bored, bored…"

"So why don't you find something to do?" a voice suddenly asked from behind her.

She didn't even turn around to greet her guest. "Hullo, 'Kashi-kun," she greeted glumly.

Hatake Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow. "What's got you so down? You've been blocking us out, and it's not like you. Even _Anko_ is becoming concerned."

Sakura looked back at him, grinning faintly. "I dunno, it's just… there's nothing anymore that even remotely interests me anymore…" She sighed, turning back to the flowing water. "And I love my Division, don't get me wrong, but everything is so…so _ordinary_ at this point, it's become boring."

Kakashi chuckled and sank down next to her, folding his legs on top of each other. "I think I know what the problem is," he casually tossed at her.

Sakura tilted her head to give him a deadpan stare. "Oh?" she voiced sarcastically. "Enlighten me, then, _please_. I don't know what you're thinking with our links closed and I don't feel like opening it up righ now."

Her semi-masked counterpart crinkled his eye and ruffled her hair, causing her to scowl at him.

"It's simple, if you really think about it," he responded slyly.

"…well?" she demanded impatiently after the man stayed silent for several minutes.

His eye upturned happily. "You've got wanderlust, my dear."

She stared at him with a deadpan expression.

"What? I'm serious!" Kakashi exclaimed, clutching his hand to his chest in mock indignation.

"No, I know you are," she admitted, "but I never figured that _you_ would be the one to point it out."

"Well, who were you expecting?" he asked curiously.

"…Kenshin."

**

* * *

**

Somewhere in the outskirts of the Rukongai, a certain redheaded shinigami sneezed.

**

* * *

**

"Hinaaaaaaa-chaaaaaan~!" Anko called, bounding over the 4th Division compound walls.

"Oi!" an irritated Tsunade called, emerging from the inner sanctum of her headquarters as soon as she heard Anko's voice. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Anko's head whipped back and forth, a hand above her eyes. "Ne, ne, I'm looking for Hina-chan. You seen her?"

Tsunade refrained from decking her in the face. Technically, that would be hitting herself in the face anyway.

"Are you serious?" she asked instead.

"Eh?" The purple-haired woman blinked. "Yeah, I'm looking for Hina-chan. I haven't seen her in a while. Gaara-kun for that matter, either. And I can't sense them like normal."

The blonde medic performed a facepalm. "How are we…no, never mind," she mumbled. Louder, she addressed her companion. "They were put into stasis, remember?"

"What? Really? Why?"

With a straight face, Tsunade said, "Because the author needed to fill in a plot hole or seven and came up with bullshit excuses on the fly."

Anko stared at the woman a little strangely. "What?"

"…nothing. Anyway, being that their main specialty is spying, and we're currently in a time of peace, they were put into stasis because they aren't needed at the moment and it conserves energy for our main body," Tsunade explained.

Anko nodded at her. "Oh, right, right. The Byakugan and Gaara-kun's sand-eye thingy. Gotcha." She pondered on that for a moment then deflated. "Aw man, I was gonna take her out for a drink. Why don't you come with me instead?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes and crossed her arms under her breasts. "Go with Makoto! Isn't she your regular drinking buddy?"

The yellow-eyed woman waved a dismissive hand. "Nah, she's busy doing who knows what, and you know how she gets when she's disturbed."

Both women shuddered momentarily.

They were saved from any more awkward conversation by the timely arrival of Kakashi and Sakura.

"Yo!" Kakashi greeted, holding up the peace sign.

"Hey, guys!" Sakura smiled nervously at them, recovering from the crouch she landed in. "I've got news!"

"What is it?" Tsunade inquired.

"Well, the thing is…I'm planning on leaving the Soul Society," she confessed. Upon seeing disbelieving looks, she hastily reassured them. "No, I'm not going to meet up with Naruto or anything like that, but…I was thinking of exploring the Rukongai and the outer territories."

Anko and Tsunade stared hard at the woman, making her squirm in place. Glancing at each other, they nodded and each grabbed hold of one of Sakura's arm's.

"What the…! H-Hey, what are you doing! Leggo of me!"

Kakashi sweatdropped as he watched the two dragged Sakura off, leaving him to his own devices. "Erm…okay…?"

**

* * *

**

Recently promoted Vice-Captain Retsu Unohana was enjoying a nice walk after training with her friend Ukitake Jushiro when she came across a somewhat odd sight.

"Stop! No! Let me go! I don't wanna goooo!"

Sakura-taicho was being forcefully dragged by both Tsunade-sama and Anko-taicho.

"You're coming with us, you're going to get drunk, and that's _FINAL!_" her blonde teacher roared at the pinkette.

While she did so, Anko somehow tied a gag one-handedly around the woman's mouth as they continued on.

"Ne, Tsu-chan we should invite Fumi-chan and Sano-kun!" Anko giggled at her friend as they faded into the distance.

Unohana blinked once, twice, and then quickened her pace towards her 4th Division personal quarters.

"Perhaps there was something in that water I drank…" she mumbled distractedly.

**

* * *

**

She could feel it bubbling up in her gut, threatening to get out as she gazed at the scene.

It was overwhelming, this feeling.

Being that she was never one to hide her feelings, without further ado, she let it all out.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~!"

Somewhere on the human plane, a puppy died, turned into a hollow and was promptly slain by a patrolling shinigami.

Isshin cringed at the sound of the maniacal laughter. "Ah, Yoruichi-san, I don't think evil laughter is your strong suit," he hedged nervously, slowly stepping away from his friend.

Kisuke grinned at the spectacle. "Really? I thought it was cool!"

"Forget that, this has got to be the best training ground ever!" Yoruichi shouted excitedly, pumping her fist into the air.

Tessai pushed his glasses up, and they sparkled ominously in the faux daylight. "I'm glad you like it, Yoruichi-san. It took many long hours to make this place."

Immediately, both he and Kisuke were grabbed in a tight hug. "Ooooh, you guys are awesome!"

"Hey, what about me?" Isshin mewled pathetically, confounded as to why he wasn't included in the group hug.

Yoruichi fixed a glare at him. "Because I know you, and you didn't do a thing to help out."

An invisible arrow shot the scruffy black-haired man in the heart. Crocodile tears poured out of his eyes as an aura of depression settled over him.

"S-So mean…"

**

* * *

**

Somewhere in the outskirts of the Rukongai, a certain redheaded shinigami was mobbed by bishonen fangirls, alerted to his presence by the sneeze, and nobody heard him scream.

**

* * *

**

"So," Naruto started off, scratching the back of his head, "What's your name?"

The blonde hollow, still lightly blushing at his presence, looked at him in surprise. She mumbled something in a low, whispery voice but Naruto couldn't understand it.

Naruto's mouth was scrunched in an odd frown. "Hmm…"

Quickly, he flashed through some hand seals and touched his throat. "Can you understand me now?"

"Oh! Y-yes…"

He nodded in relief. "Okay, that's good. So, as I was asking before, what's your name? Mine's Naruto," he said, grinning.

Her blush seemed to intensify as she whispered out, "My name is T-Tia Harribel, Master…"

"Master? Huh?" he asked bewilderedly. "What are you talking about?"

Despite the redness of her face, she looked at him determinedly. "You are my new master."

Naruto nearly groaned. He knew that look well. Many a time he had seen it on one of his other selves' faces. As soon as the expression came upon the hollow girl's face, he knew he had no choice. Well, except to leave her here to die, but he wasn't a heartless bastard.

Deciding to put his qualms aside, he flashed her a megawatt smile. "Well, then, Harribel-chan," he announced, mixing up her last name with her first name, "It's nice to meet you!"

He didn't count on her fainting – for the second time, but he didn't know that.

**

* * *

**

Author's Note: aka, 'The Excuse II'

Alright, I probably lost some fans _again_ for the lack of updates _again_, but that's to be expected. I don't like to dick around with my readers, but I had some legit reasons…_again_.

For one thing, Microsoft Windows XP – yes, I know it's 'old' – is a fickle bitch who is also really sensitive in that one small problem happens and you're fucked. That's what happened back in late August – I was totally set to publish this chapter. All of a sudden, shit happens and my laptop is dead as dead with the blue screen of death. It took me and my dad three and a half long weeks to fix that crap, then another two weeks to get it back in working order; that sucked. And, of course, everything was wiped clean, so that sucked too.

And senior year of high school (in the U.S.) is a hell of a lot harder than what most people tell me – also, fuck physics! Yeah, there's that, and I was and still am applying for colleges, so that takes up a lot of my time, with the essays, forms, letters, etcetera, etcetera.

Since I'll be busy with real life and the like, I figured I'd toss this out – even though it's more of a joke chapter than anything else – to show that I wasn't dead. I'll probably repost something much better when I have the time.

Consider the story on yet another hiatus, but that was kind of obvious. Anyway, enjoy it or don't, but it might be a long while 'til I update again.


	13. OMAKE & IMPORTANT NOTE

**OMAKE (Important note at the bottom; please read it!)**

* * *

"Silence!" Yamamoto's old, wisened voice cried, echoing throughout the Captain's Hall, where they were having a meeting regarding the intruding ryoka. Personally, he really didn't care as long as nobody was permanently injured. He snorted to himself softly. If any of _them_ saw him like this, they would have ridiculed him to death. Yamamoto, that loud-mouth mother hen was now an old and (secretly) lazy man. At least on the surface.

Sighing mentally, he continued on. "This meeting has been called to order!" There were grumbles amongst the Captains, particularly the current 11th Division's Kenpachi, Zaraki Kenpachi, and Kurotsuchi Mayuri of the 12th Division, but nobody complained outright. His old student, Kyoraku Shunsui, merely voiced that they should at least serve sake during the meeting, an opinion that was duly ignored. One by one, they all announced their name and rank, mainly out of tradition.

"Captain of the Second Division, Soifon, is present."

"Maa, Ichimaru Gin of the Third Division, at your service."

"Retsu Unohana of the Fourth Division, present."

"Captain Aizen Sosuke of the Fifth Division, present."

"Kuchiki Byakuya, Sixth Division, present."

"Komamura Sajin of the Seventh Division, is here."

"Still no sake…Kyoraku Shunsui, Eight Division, here."

"Tosen Kaname, Ninth Division, present."

"Hitsugaya Toshiro of Division Ten, present."

"What a waste of time…Zaraki Kenpachi, here, old man."

"I hope this is a quick meeting. I was in the middle of some very important experiments!"

"Ahem, Ukitake Jushiro of the Thirteenth Division, present."

He felt like rolling his eyes at some of the comments, but he needed to keep up appearances. The henge no jutsu he used was strong and had held for the last thousand years, giving him the look of a wise old man. It barely took any reiatsu at all, and considering that he was essentially a walking massive reiatsu bank…

Yamamoto sighed imperceptibly, pushing the stray thoughts from mind. "On the topic of the ryoka, I have received word that they have defeated several seated members, two of them being lieutenants." He slid his eyes over to Soifon, former servant to Shihoin Yoruichi, and Kuchiki Byakuya. At least Soifon had the decency to look ashamed, but Byakuya remained impassive as ever, he noted absently. "They are but mere ryoka, and I will not tolerate anymore laziness in regards to them. Remove them immediately."

"Yes, Sotaicho!" they replied in their own fashions.

All of a sudden, he felt _that_ reiatsu. His eyes, which, from looking in the mirror everyday he knew to be narrow, were currently as wide as possible. "No…" he breathed, gaining the attention of the entire room. "It can't be…"

"Ano…Yamamoto-sotaicho…?" Retsu Unohana asked from her position, concern evident in her voice. "What is it?"

Aizen lifted an eyebrow underneath his glasses, but inwardly, he was worried. This was completely unexpected behavior of the Sotaicho, and if it had _him_ worried, then…

Yamamoto ignored Unohana and stood up in a panic, his eyes searching for something, while internally his senses were going haywire.

And then he heard it; a voice that chilled him to his very core.

"Yama-kuuuun~!"

A massive halberd, one he was very intimately familiar with, sliced through the space he had vacated seconds prior, piercing his Captain's cloak.

"You…!" Yamamoto breathed, while the rest of the Captains, immediately on alert at the attempt on their leader's life, unsheathed their Zanpakuto.

Perched elegantly on top of the massive halberd's handle was a lithe azure-haired girl with what appeared to be cat ears and a cat tail. Except for her light blue shirt, everything else she wore was black. She had a Cheshire grin on her face as she eyed the Captain-Commander.

"Ne, Yama-kun, you're all old and wrinkly!" she exclaimed, giggling like the loon Yamamoto knew she was. "I leave you alone for a few centuries and look what happens!"

Several of the other captains glanced at her in surprise, wondering what she meant by that.

"You'll never take me alive!" Yamamoto screamed, bringing up his Zanpakuto to the fore while startling his subordinates with the fear laced in his voice.

Kenpachi was shivering with excitement at the scene before him. If this little girl had managed to rile up the old man that much, then that meant that she was packing some serious power, which also meant that he would have total fun fighting her.

However, he was severely disappointed when instead of fighting Yamamoto, who was way paler than usual, the girl merely pulled out a scroll and read from it.

"By the order of Namikaze Naruto," she read aloud, ignoring several gasps – and an uncharacteristically near-fangirlish squeal from Unohana – at the rather famous name, "Yamamoto Shigekuni-Genryusai is hereby declared…an idiot." She also ignored the rather large sweatdrops that had developed.

A gloomy atmosphere descended upon the 'old' general. "He said that?" Yamamoto asked despairingly.

Hitsugaya was immediately suspicious, of course. "How can we be sure that that was from the real Namikaze Naruto?" he demanded.

The girl was all smiles. "Because of this!" She threw the scroll straight at Yamamoto's forehead.

As it impacted, a large plume of smoke enveloped him and he heard her voice whisper in his ear, "Kai."

Immediately, he knew was she was doing and what she wanted him to do, so he played along with it.

Komamura and Soifon, on the other hand, were about to go medieval on the girl who dared attack their leader, but they jumped back grudgingly with the others, just in case the smoke was harmful; if they got caught up in it as well, then they would only hinder any attempts at a rescue.

But instead of being injured, the Captains were rewarded with the sight of a much younger man, roughly in his early twenties, with spiky black hair, coughing his lungs out because of the excess of smoke.

All they could do was gape.

"What…what are you…?" Mayuri whispered; his inner scientist was immensely curious as to what she did. Aizen was about to ask the same thing, and all the while, he was inwardly cursing the girl for screwing up his plans.

Once Yamamoto was finished hacking up a lung, in the spirit of entertainment, he demanded, "What did you do to me!"

"Oh, I didn't do anything, Yama-kun~!" she said teasingly. She procured a mirror from…somewhere and flipped it around to face him.

Once Yamamoto looked at his reflection, he made eye contact with her. She nodded imperceptibly.

And then he laughed. He laughed until he felt like his guts were going to spill out. "Leave it to Naruto-sama to do something like this!" he managed to choke out.

Once again, the other Captains were at a loss of what to do. This crazy girl that had shown up had just made their leader look at least fifty times younger.

Shunsui was the first to go. "…I…I think I need some more sake…" he muttered on his way out the door.

* * *

**IMPORTANT****: ****READ THIS****!**

As amusing as that was to write, it made me realize that I've kinda lost steam on with this story, as those of you who still follow this could tell. Looking back now, I'm like: "WTF did I really write this? Gah!" To me, this story just started degrading from several chapters in. I see now that I could've done many things a whole lot better. To be honest, sometimes I actually forgot that this was my fic. Between everything I have going on in my life right now, like I said, I sorta just lost interest.

However, _before I close the curtains on this fic_, I'll just come out and say that I'm open to the idea of rewriting this, and now that summer's coming so is my free time.

**So should I rewrite The Break in the Line? And if so, who would you want Naruto's companions to be?**

Review or PM your answer (if you want), but if I get no responses, I'm just going to go on with my current project.

Later.


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